The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!

In the full break room, Jim makes a comment about all the brainpower in the room. "We got Michael and Oscar, the two smartest guys in the office. Also in that order." Oscar says that's funny, as good-naturedly as he can manage, and Michael one-ups, "Very comedically humorous." Kelly and Ryan join in on the mocking of Oscar, while Jim just stands there and grins. He THs, "Around here, Oscar is known as 'Actually,' because he will insert himself into just about any conversation to add facts or correct grammar. He really does fit that old stereotype of the smug, gay Mexican." And it's just now getting on people's nerves all of a sudden after six-plus years, to the point where they'll all turn on him in favor of Michael. Sorry, not buying it.

After Andy texts Darryl "Megan Fox?" Darryl warns him that he's one bad text from getting blocked. "But one good text away from a high five," Andy points out. They have a deal. Someone's time is getting wasted, all right, but it's not just Darryl's.

In an effort to be conciliatory, Dwight is surveying the employees to compile a wish list. Kevin asks for a million wishes, and you think he's just being his dopey self, but when Dwight pleasantly starts to explain that's not what he's asking, Kevin shuts him down: "Then see you later, Building." Meanwhile, Oscar invites Michael to discuss China with him some more over coffee. Michael agrees, and Jim and Andy worriedly tell him that he just consented to a battle of wits where Oscar will lord his factual superiority over Michael. Jim points out, "Haven't you noticed that I don't being up the Tour de France around him?" Of course Michael has. Michael figures all he has to do is learn everything about China. "And science and geography and math and literary." He's covered on politics, as he demonstrates with the worst Governor Schwarzenegger impression ever. Jim and Andy follow him into his office. "What?" he asks.

Dwight breezes through the kitchen inviting Pam to parley. Creed translates that Dwight wants to talk. Pam wonders if everyone in the office speaks pirate code. "I understand it, I can't speak it," Creed admits. Even the Creed jokes are weak, and there's no excuse for that even when you don't also add in the low-hanging fruit of pirate vernacularrrrrrr.

In Dwight's building owner office (which apparently also doubles as the room where his assistant Nate uses some kind of spinning machine to de-ply the toilet paper), he offers to stop watering down the soap. As for her threat to leave the building, Dwight warns her of the stress of moving, and the toll it'll take on her family. "And twenty-five years from now, Cece will become world-famous. For stripping." Pam will se that and raise it: "We move. The other tenants follow. The bank takes the building, takes your farm, takes your car, and beats the crap out of you. Penniless, you die. And my daughter Cece dances on your grave. Fully clothed." The lights go off in the tense silence that ensues, and after they wave them back on, Pam waits with a smug, expectant look on her face.

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The Office




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