In the party bus, everyone sings "The Gambler," with Michael's voice overwhelming everyone else's with his annoying high "harmony" while we see Toby alone at the office. Michael goes to the front of the bus to announce that this isn't just a beach day. Stanley says something grumpy, and Michael says that he can go to the back of the bus if he doesn't like it. "Or the front of the bus, or drive the bus," he flounders, realizing what he just said. Anyway, there will be "mandatory fun activities," and there will be a special secret prize at the end of all of it. Returning to the back, Michael asks Pam if she's getting all this. Pam could fill that whole notebook with the stuff about Michael that she doesn't get.
The bus arrives at the beach adjoining Lake Scranton, a desolate expanse of sand and weeds near a small body of water. "Watch out for snakes," Michael warns. He tells everyone to settle in. They've barely gotten started at that before Michael gathers them around himself to announce the start of the mandatory fun activities. He describes Lake Scranton as "America's eighth-largest indigenous body of water" (and thanks for the head-shake to the camera, Jim, because otherwise I would have had to look that up). Michael Probsts that there will be only one Survivor. "Just inspiring words," he assures a confused Oscar, aside-ing to us, "Not a contender." There will be four tribes, each with a leader that Michael will pick "randomly," where random=flailing your arms around and trying to make the four names you had in mind all along sound like they're coming off the top of your head. The leaders end up being Jim, Dwight, Andy, and Stanley, and they get to pick their teams (But Pam is off-limits, because she isn't playing. [As usual. (On both counts.)]) In a separate TH, Michael lists Jim's pros, comparing them to his own, but calls him not a hard worker, saying it takes Jim a half-hour to so something that takes Michael all day. Dwight tries to pick Michael for his team, but since he's sitting out, Dwight picks "Temp" instead. Michael gives us a few reasons why Dwight is a good candidate. "He is, however," Michael adds, "an idiot." So it would be a smooth transition, at least. Dwight picks a name for his team: Gryffindor. So Jim (with his team of Karen and Kevin) picks the name Voldemort just to bug Dwight. Which works brilliantly, especially when they loudly chant their team name. Stanley doesn't care what Michael calls his team, until Michael looks at Stanley's Red Shirt and comes up with the Red Team. So Stanley decides they're the Blue Team, just to be contrary. I know that Stanley doesn't care for Michael, but he should at least give Michael credit for not dubbing his group the Black Team or the Harlem Globetrotters or something. But then Michael proves me wrong, THing that he's giving Stanley a chance because of all the good that black people have done in America. Andy names himself, Kelly, Meredith, and Angela Team USA. Michael THs that Andy is "classy, he gets me, he went to Cornell, I trust him. Cons: I don't really trust him."