The Office
The Office

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M. Giant: A | 1235 USERS: B-
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Beach Games

Kevin suggests that Michael go first. Michael claims an exemption, recalling his previous foot-burning experience. "That is not the same at all," says Jim. "If you're gonna ask other people to do it, you should do it yourself." So Michael goes to the end of the coals, kicks off his shoes, and tries to psych himself up for about ten minutes. Everyone counts to three for him, several times, and that doesn't work either. When he finally, tremulously, lifts his foot over the coals, Dwight jumps in to say he'll do it. He vows to stand on the coals until Michael gives him the job. And then he walks out into the middle, to everyone's amazement. And stays there. Everyone stops applauding and yells at him to keep moving. Michael still refuses to give him the job, and Dwight collapses on the coals, until someone reaches in and starts dragging him out by his smoldering collar. Michael THs that being a boss is all about image. "I've never looked like that," he says disgustedly. "That was gross."

As everyone walks away, Michael seems disillusioned with the whole exercise, complaining, "Worst $75 I ever spent." He tells the group that at this point, he's about ready to pick "Mr. Outside Hire." "Or Mrs. Outside Hire," Angela corrects. Michael agrees, condescendingly. But he doesn't want to leave the branch that way, so instead there's going to be a "hundred-point, winner-take-all, sudden-death, tribal council round" to test the contenders' "Bob Hope" factor. There's an exchange with Kelly about who Bob Hope is, in which he is compared with Amanda Bynes. Which probably makes Bob Hope glad to be dead.

Pam, unnoticed by anyone (as usual), is hanging back alone, holding her hand out over the still-glowing coals.

Michael tries to begin the competition. But Jim stands up and, instead of being funny, says that he not only shouldn't be considered as Michael's replacement, but that he's interviewing for the Corporate position himself. Michael is not amused, and deducts sixty points from Voldemort. Please note that a rather singed Dwight is still freaked out at the mention of the name of he-who-must-not-be-named, as if something else is going to happen to him tonight that's worse than being on fire. But now it's his turn. He gets up and begins telling the joke known as "The Aristocrats," as told by someone who has never actually heard it but only read reviews of the movie in family newspapers.

The Office

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