The Office
Beach Games

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Beach Games

Michael announces the first event: a blindfolded spoon and egg race. The racers will be guided on the course by their team leaders. When they start, Phyllis drops the Blue Team's egg three steps from the starting line. "Thank you so much," says Stanley, happy to get back to his crossword. Andy guides Kelly, but she's paranoid about hitting the big rock that's about a half a mile away from her, and removes her blindfold. "See, now we're disqualified," says Andy, hiding his rage behind a huge grin. He THs that he's okay losing everything today, to demonstrate what a good sport he is. And then he pegs a rock at a mallard. Still in the game, Jim messes with Karen, making her step over imaginary holes. Dwight is yelling at Ryan, who protests, and Jim guides Karen into the lake, soaking her shoes. She takes off her blindfold to chase after him as they both laugh. Meanwhile, from the sidelines, Pam says that there's nothing like a day at the beach, "filled with sun, surf, and diligent note-taking." "Pam, you're missing things!" Michael complains. Pam exhaustedly shakes her hand out and gets back to it with a martyr's sigh. She clearly does not have what it takes to be a recapper.

Creed is filmed from a distance, standing at the shoreline and pensively contemplating the water's surface. What is he thinking? Why is he apart from the group? All of these questions become moot when, with a lightning movement belying his age, he reaches into the lake and grabs a live, writhing fish. I think I just figured out how he gets away with so much stealing.

Ryan gets tired of Dwight yelling at him, and quits. So the winner is...nobody. "That was terrific, everybody," Andy applauds, while Michael sighs hopelessly.

Michael asks Pam to heat up 800 hot dogs in about ten minutes. And ten minutes later, Michael stands at the head of a long picnic table announcing the hot dog eating contest. He claims that the world record is 54 ½ hot dogs, and that there are enough there for everyone to break the record (plus one turkey burger for Michael). He says go, but everyone has a lot of questions about the hot dogs. Michael tries to motivate them by saying that there's a big big prize. Specifically? "The winner gets a Regional Manager salary and a Sebring and a feeling they're making a huge difference in the world," says Michael. Kelly just wants the first two. "The winner of today gets my job!" Michael finally blurts in frustration. Everyone stares at him in varying degrees of shock as Michael tells them that he's interviewing for a Corporate job he'll probably get. But now he doesn't know whom to recommend, "because no one's stepping up!" "I am so hungry!" Andy suddenly says, tucking in. Stanley's skeptical that the new boss will actually be chosen on this basis, but when Michael confirms it with a solemn "Word," Stanley's in, too. "I would rather work for an upturned broom with a bucket for a head than work for somebody else in this office besides myself," Stanley THs. "Game on." I'm becoming concerned about these employees' discrimination in favor of cleaning supplies whenever Michael mentions a successor. It's like the ficus isn't even there.

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The Office




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