The Office
Ben Franklin

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Ben Franklin

Michael and Ryan are in a porn shop, where Michael can't manage to do anything but giggle at everything. Since almost the entire background is pixilated, I can't really blame him. Jim calls Michael's cell and asks, "Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin, or SpongeBob SquarePants?" Yes, Jim called not "The Banana Sling," as recommended by Michael, but "Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania."

And sure enough, when Ryan and Michael are heading back up to the office, a guy in full Benjamin Franklin regalia, complete with half-bald wig, joins them. Not that Michael realizes that Jim hired a lecturer instead of a stripper. "You wearing a thong?" Michael giggles at the author of Poor Richard's Almanac.

Up in the conference room, Michael smarmily introduces to the ladies "the one, the only, the sexy, Mr. Benjamin Franklin." Enter Ben Franklin, in character. Michael calls him one of the "sexiest presidents ever." Ben Franklin corrects him that he never was president. "No, but Ben Franklin was," Michael explains quietly. And we get to watch a historical figure doing the familiar mental calculation of whether it's better to let an idiotic statement stand or get into a debate with an idiot. Ben Franklin launches into his lecture, and Michael leaves, the only one who hasn't yet figured out that he isn't a stripper at all.

Jim and Dwight wait in the parking lot to meet the female stripper, which is going to be a first for both of them. A petite blonde woman gets out of her car and comes up to them, introducing herself as Elizabeth, the dancer, causing Dwight some confusion which he resolves with his typical rudeness. Jim gets a text message from Michael asking, "Is she hot?" Michael is actually inside the glass front door, and it about to clap eyes on Elizabeth himself in about ten seconds, but apparently that was just too long for him to wait. Dwight tells Jim to text back, "Kind of." Elizabeth is still standing right there, I hasten to add.

Ben Franklin is telling the ladies about his famous kite flight, complete with a visual aid. I know you're only reading about this and not seeing it, so I don't mind telling you that said visual aid is, naturally, a kite. Only Angela is listening raptly, but Karen interrupts to ask Ben Franklin whether he has a girlfriend. Franklin says that he has a wife, and Pam brings up Ben Franklin's girlfriends in Paris. "Like, a lot of them?" Franklin calls that a "gray area of [his] life," and moves on.

Outside, Ryan watches Michael "grill" the steaks. Except that instead of a big, smoky Weber, Michael is using his George Foreman. "I got all the foot off of it," Michael insists.

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