The Office
Ben Franklin

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Ben Franklin

In the women's party, Ben Franklin's getting a little flirty, tying a cherry stem in his mouth and winking at Pam when she asks if he wears boxers, briefs, or pantaloons. Someone needs to codpiece-block that guy, and fast.

Michael serves the steaks, which he insists on calling "man meat," encouraged by Jim. Stanley tries to cut into one, but his plastic cutlery breaks. "Of course," he sighs. Creed just picks his up and bites into it like a sandwich.

Karen and Pam are in the kitchen, doing whatever and joking about how one grows up to become a Ben Franklin impersonator. That warms Karen up to bring up the infamous Jim/Pam kiss and try to make sure that Pam isn't still interested in Jim. "Oh, yeah," Pam says, by which she claims to actually means no. More babbling from Pam, who is quite the motormouth this episode. "Sorry," she finally says. Karen asks what she means. Even Pam doesn't know. Well, I hope this little talk has set Karen's mind at ease.

Kevin's dealing a hand of No-Limit Deuce to Seven Lowball (whatever that is) to Jim, Ryan, and Roy. And then Michael just swoops in, grabs the cards, and starts "shuffling," by smearing the cards around on the table like my three-year-old, only less smoothly. Enter Elizabeth in her costume, which is a slutty-businesswoman outfit. Suddenly, in these clothes, she looks a good deal like a shorter, post-enhancement Jan Levinson, with a shorter, post-scissors skirt on. You can probably imagine what that would look like, even in the unlikely event that you haven't before. With Jan the furthest thing from his tiny little mind, Michael giddily introduces Elizabeth to everyone. Roy THs that strippers aren't nearly as sexy as Pam's art. Very convincing. Elizabeth has Dwight start her music, and asks for the groom. Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration ducks out, so Michael takes over the chair just vacated by Roy so that he can have the lap dance. It's just as awkward and horrible as you'd think, but then it gets worse when Michael suddenly remembers that he has a girlfriend. He ends up standing up, nearly tipping the poor shirtless Elizabeth on her ass. He calls an end to the whole thing. Elizabeth still has her pink bra on, because that isn't what twisted and broke after all.

After the ads, Dwight shows the re-suited Elizabeth to Oscar's desk and tells her to answer the phone when it rings. "We hired you for three hours' work and we're gonna get it," he says. Whatever Angela was going to say to Elizabeth is forestalled when the stripper compliments the baby musicians poster. Kevin just sits there drooling.

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The Office




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