The Office
The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | 1444 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Booze Cruise

Captain Jack is trying to keep up with Michael's analogy, asking Jim who he would save if the building were on fire. Jim looks across the room to where Pam is laughing, and lies that he would save the customer. Michael likes that, but Captain Jack says Jim is only sucking up. A drunk Roy drapes himself over Captain Jack's shoulder, and asks if he ever almost died. Captain Jack says he did, and married his first wife as soon as he got back to shore. Jim, meanwhile, has decided to make his move, as he purposefully heads down the aisle towards where Pam and Katy are sitting. Which of them will he talk to first? Unfortunately, he pauses just long enough to tell us he'd save the receptionist. And that makes him too late, because Roy has jumped up on the bandstand and commandeered the mic. He tells Pam they should set a date: June 10. Pam happily goes up and kisses Roy while everyone claps and cheers, especially Katy. Jim just sinks into a seat. If fortune favors the brave, clearly the converse is also true.

Back from the ads, there's still a celebratory vibe. Michael tries to take credit as Roy's motivation, but Roy says it was Captain Jack. Captain Jack offers to marry them as captain of the vessel, and of course Michael offers to marry them as regional manager. Pam declines, since he wants her parents to be there. Very diplomatic of her.

Later, everyone's slow-dancing. Jim and Katy are watching Pam and Roy from outside through a window, and she asks if he thinks that'll ever be them. Jim flatly says no, and breaks up with her on the spot.

Captain Jack shows Meredith his ready room, if you know what I mean, and Meredith clearly does.

Meanwhile, Michael is getting seasick. Dwight tells Michael that Captain Jack says to look at the moon when that happens. "Captain Jack's a fart-face," Michael says before puking onto the floor. Seeing that a shocked Brenda Something has just arrived, he blames it on medication. "Vomicillin," he claims. Finally he gets up and takes over the microphone. In Captain Jack's absence, he goes public with his "sinking ship" metaphor, which is not good because nobody except the Dunder Mifflin employees realize that he's just being Michael, and he's starting a panic. Kevin tries and fails to stop a guy who grabs a life jacket and dives out the window. Captain Jack returns, stripped down to a t-shirt. Meredith is also back, wearing a life jacket with nothing underneath. Where's Michael's digital camera?

The Office

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