Captain Jack shows Meredith his ready room, if you know what I mean, and Meredith clearly does.
Meanwhile, Michael is getting seasick. Dwight tells Michael that Captain Jack says to look at the moon when that happens. "Captain Jack's a fart-face," Michael says before puking onto the floor. Seeing that a shocked Brenda Something has just arrived, he blames it on medication. "Vomicillin," he claims. Finally he gets up and takes over the microphone. In Captain Jack's absence, he goes public with his "sinking ship" metaphor, which is not good because nobody except the Dunder Mifflin employees realize that he's just being Michael, and he's starting a panic. Kevin tries and fails to stop a guy who grabs a life jacket and dives out the window. Captain Jack returns, stripped down to a t-shirt. Meredith is also back, wearing a life jacket with nothing underneath. Where's Michael's digital camera?
Cut to Michael, out on the upper deck with his hands plastic-cuffed to the deck rail. "Boat's not as corporate-friendly as advertised," he grumbles at us Michael blames the other passenger for jumping overboard. "If he had just waited and listened to what I had to say, he would be motivated right now and not all wet." Michael gives himself too much credit; everyone would have jumped overboard rather than listen to one of his full speeches.
Jim gets tired of pouting in the same room as Katy, and gets up to leave. See, this is why you don't break up on a cruise, unless you have access to the lifeboats. Jim goes to visit Michael in the brig. "Captain Jack has a problem with authority," Michael tells him. "Cause you announced that his ship was sinking?" Jim wonders. Michael says that at least Jim had a good night, since his friend got engaged. Jim says she already was engaged. "Roy said the first one didn't count," Michael clarifies. "That's...great," Jim pouts. He confesses that he "used to have a big thing for Pam." Michael is totally blown away by that, of course. "I usually have a radar for stuff like that." He makes sure to mention that he made out with Jan, and says Pam is cute. Jim adds, "Really funny, and warm, and...anyway." Michael tells Jim not to give up. "Engaged ain't married," he encourages. Jim considers that and Michael repeats his previous sentence, the one motivational thing he's managed to say all night. From the fake wheel on the deck below, Dwight tells Michael not to worry, as he's taking them to shore. "It's a fake wheel, dummy," Michael calls down. So much for nautical analogies.