The Office
Branch Wars

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
Branch Wars

Michael meets with Stanley in his office. He tries to give Stanley a soft sell to stay in Scranton, but all Stanley wants is more money. He probably also wants less oversight by Michael, but maybe he's just decided not to shoot the moon. And Michael doesn't have more money to pay him, anyway.

Oh, Jesus. So Pam, along with Toby and Oscar, has started the "very exclusive" Finer Things Club. She describes it at length, when "it's a book club with themed meals" would probably get the job done. Or, actually Oscar says it best: "Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me." This week, or month, or whatever, they're reading A Room With A View. As Pam sets out finger sandwiches and canapés on a somewhat Edwardian-looking tea tray in the break room, Jim stands by, asking why he can't join. Pam says that "some people" think Jim would monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny. Jim: "Oscar?" Pam, tightly: "Some people." I'm with some people. Oscar probably gets annoyed by the camera-shrugging, too. Maybe Oscar and I need to start a club.

Michael calls Karen on speakerphone, letting her know that he's aware of the offer she made Stanley and that he's not cool with it. He offers her Toby instead, and when she says that Toby's not a salesman, Michael tries to tell her that she could train him and that Toby's very talented, but he can't even commit to this angle and gives up: "Toby's the worst." Instead, Michael says that if Karen's going to take one of his guys, Michael's going to take one of hers. Karen is not threatened in the least -- nor does she seem to grow intimidated when Michael asks her to transfer him to her best salesman. Seems like he could just look up stats on that website of Ryan's, couldn't he?

Maybe that's what Pam did, because the next thing we see is her, with Michael, connecting him with Ben Nugent, Utica's top salesman. Michael launches into his pro-Scranton pitch, but Ben recognizes Michael by reputation as the guy who hit a woman with his car. Pam can't help snickering, and Michael quickly dismisses her, telling Ben that he also saved Meredith's life, not that anyone ever talks about that part. Still, Ben is not convinced, saying that the rumour is that the Scranton branch is worse than Camden, and that he heard everyone from Stamford quit immediately. Michael: "No, I fired them. And you're next. [beat] So what do you say?" Ben: "Seriously?" How does Michael EVER sell anyone paper anymore? I guess he doesn't need to, if he has all this copious spare time to create life-size dioramas for his mannequin to live in.

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The Office




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