The Office
Branch Wars

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
Branch Wars

Cut to: Jim doing an interview while putting on his warehouse uniform, which has "Madge" embroidered on the left breast. His assessment is that he got Michael to agree not to let Dwight blow anyone up, in exchange for Jim wearing a costume. And a moustache.

Cut to: The Scranton Three, uniformed and moustachioed. Dwight has given his a jaunty handlebar zsusj that makes him look a bit like the Taft I just saw last week at the Hall of Presidents. Michael asks Jim why he and Karen broke up. Jim distracts him by suggesting that they play an alphabet game. Michael doesn't get any further than "A" before he hears a mysterious sound that he guesses is air-conditioning fluid leaking. Neither he nor Jim can identify it, but the camera pulls out to a three-shot so that we notice before the other passengers do that what they're hearing is Dwight, peeing into a pop can. (An empty can of Wegmans store-brand soda, I feel Kim would want me to note.) Naturally, Jim and even Michael are disgusted -- and loudly -- but Dwight protests that Michael said that they couldn't make any more stops, and Dwight really had to go. Michael is so flustered that he starts swerving all over the road, and as Jim tries to get his attention back on the task at hand, Dwight whines, "I think I cut my penis on the lip!" (That would be the runner-up for this week's homepage title.)

FTC. The founding members are really getting their Forster on when Andy wanders in, book in hand, and pulls up a chair. Pam, wide-eyed at the intrusion, tells Andy that it's a closed club, at which we cut to Andy, interviewing, "The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it's where I need to be. The Party Planning Committee is my backup, and Kevin's band is my safety." And if Andy exhausts all these possibilities, I'm sure Creed's got something going on that he'd be more than grateful to share among many members/co-conspirators. Back in the meeting, an affronted Andy gets up from the table and takes his copy of the book to the next table over, which is a common area. Toby says Andy just needs to know he's not in the club, and Andy yelps, "Why can't I be in the club?!" Because anyone who appreciates the finer things wouldn't have mixed prints so many prints in one outfit? Hey, either I was going to say it or Oscar would have.

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The Office




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