At the restaurant, Michael explains his boss ideology to Holly over lobster. He bases nothing on performance and adds that Meredith needs the job. Holly wants to keep it by-the-book. Michael suggests they say nothing and punish her by putting her under a six-month sex embargo. And how? Chastity belt! Which he describes in a roundabout manner that sends Holly into seizure-like head shakes. She is literally gesturing "No, no, no!" As first dates go... it could be worse.
Dwight works furiously back at DM. Jim THs that Dwight has not stopped working for one minute, including, but not limited to, sneezing with his eyes open and peeing in an empty soda bottle. This last feat we see in real time. Jim reports that clocking Dwight is so distracting that he himself hasn't done any work. He might even leave early.
Michael and Holly continue their back-and-forth. He claims they're in agreement. Holly reiterates Michael's push-over solution and asks what he thinks she has suggested. He flounders and admits he has no idea. She says she doesn't want to work in an environment with such "icky" goings-on. He counters that families must be tolerant. She counters DM is not a family. Michael is perplexed. Commercials.
Michael and Holly silently return from their failed lunch date/negotiation. Michael THs that the car ride did not go well, but claims no fault. He says he doesn't even want to take the elevator with Holly. He also mentions that he's holding her leftovers before spitefully chucking them in the garbage.
Upstairs, Dwight swaggers back to his desk. Jim apprises him that he was away 19 minutes and 48 seconds. He wonders what could have taken so long. Dwight says it's none of his business, and Jim surmises that it's "personal." Pan to Angela, buttoning up her blouse. Jim smirks that Dwight isn't completely ethical after all. Dwight double-dog counter-smirks that maybe he's not. In his own head, Dwight is James Bond and Hugh Hefner combined. What a horrifying place that must be. Also? Now we know exactly how long it takes for Dwangela to bump uglies.
Holly enters the break room and Michael not only refuses to refill her coffee mug, but takes the entire pot out of the room with him. Holly interviews that she's getting lonely. She recalls that this was what it felt like as a middle school hall monitor, except now there's less egg salad in her locker.
Later, Michael sits in his office. Ryan knocks to says that an HR rep is on the phone and Holly is on her way in. They share a tender bromance moment, grimly joking that the only thing worse than one HR rep is two HR reps. Holly enters and asks if she can sit. Michael smacks of immaturity, saying, "I don't know, can you?" Attaboy, Mikey. The way to girl's heart is surely through her tear ducts.