Michael: "Jan and I understand each other. The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being, but we're ... we've remained good friends. Good friends with privileges. Not now. Someday."
Later, Michael sits atop reception, holding court. "Tonight's event is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America..." Oscar, of course, is not interested in benefiting the BSA, because vice versa, and Michael explains, I think sincerely, that they need the money: "They don't have cookies like the Girl Scouts!" Oscar suggests that it might be "nice" to do something for "people who are actually suffering." Michael says that this is still Oscar's problem, because the person with the highest chip count at the end of the night will get $500 for the charity of their choice -- and a mini-fridge, compliments of Vance Refrigeration. Phyllis, who's with Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration, smiles cutely, tongue between her teeth. I love the way even mentioning his Refrigeration lights her up like that.
Michael tells them to get their chosen charity to Pam -- remember Animal Crack-Ups? I loved that crazy show -- and says that, for his part, he'll be playing for Comic Relief. Which, Jim points out in a forthright manner, no longer exists. "Comedy's very much alive. As are homeless people." Pam tries again, saying that the show is no longer being made -- "Then they need our money more than ever!" -- but Angela cuts in with a definite ruling: "You have to pick an approved, nonprofit organization."
Creed: "There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays."
Kevin: "Something with animals. ...Or people?"
Kelly: "Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it.
"...Maybe he did it."
Angela: "We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don't we just deal drugs, or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?"
Back to the meeting. "Another fun thing! We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?" Toby interrupts, explaining that he decided it was inappropriate to invite children to Casino Night, given the following HR matrix:
It's in our dangerous warehouse
It's a school night
Hooters is catering
Is that enough? Should I keep going?
Sheesh, corporate. Michael levels him with a truly poisonous gaze: "Why are you...the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it...not that way. I hate...so much about the things that you choose to be."