The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Mission Abandoned
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Pam's trying to run a hygiene meeting, talking about the amount of bacteria in their keyboards. As if anyone in this office ever touches their keyboards anyway. Kelly turns it into a "your mom" joke, and Michael starts to make that into a "your mom" truth (you know, because he dated her) until Jim says, "Stop." Pam gives a few hygiene tips, and adds that there will be hand-sanitizing stations set up. "They will cost you your life!" Dwight protests. "Elaborate," Jim says, because he's all about verbal economy right now. Dwight makes the argument -- as grossly as possible -- that our immune systems need to be toughened up, and Jim takes him up on it by sneezing in his face. "You're welcome," Jim So it looks like everyone's going to be sneezing on Dwight from now on. Or in Andy's case, on his toast. Enjoy the lime marmalade.

We're outside the church where Jim and Pam's baby Cece is getting christened, and of course so is everyone from the office, because all these outside events always have 100% turnout. Angela's being all sweet to Cece, which is weird because of how she's also barely being civil to the parents holding Cece. Apparently Michael invited everyone, because it's not about Jim or Pam or Cece or even Michael, "And I thought we should all celebrate my joy...our joy."

Andy, who's been watching Gabe and Erin talk, talking-heads that the Nard-Dog wants Nard-Pups. "Put 'em in a box, give 'em to my neighbors." Wait...

Dwight's stationed himself inside the door to hand out his business card, but Toby can't even bring himself to go in. "The Big Guy and I, we've got some catching up to do," he says.

In a Don Corleone voice, Michael tries to get Pam and Jim to scootch over in the pew so he can sit with family, thinking he's the godfather. Jim explains that he isn't, and Michael gets his De Niro characters mixed up, phasing into Travis Bickle: "You talkin' to me?" "Okay, your turn," Jim whispers to Pam. As nicely as she can, she gets him to say that he knows he's not the godfather. That would be their new friend Seth, and Michael's hurt, of course. "Cece is kind of turning out to be a little b-i-t-c-h," he THs. Michael goes to one of the cheap seats, and the service begins. The pastor announces that the youth ministry is on its way to a small, impoverished village in Mexico -- whose name Ryan recognizes as the source of all of Cabo San Lucas's prostitutes. Of course he shares that with Michael, right there in the church. Stay classy, Ryan.

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The Office




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