Kevin takes a footbath from Pam, and THs, "That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it." Too late, he wonders if he should have taken the iPod. Now it's Pam's turn to take the iPod, which Jim asks if she's sure she wants to do, with the teapot up for grabs and everything. "I mean, it's an iPod," Pam apologizes, and Jim lets it go. Kelly claims a book of short stories from Dwight (which, no, unless it's a bound volume of a year's worth of InTouch Weekly), and now Dwight takes the teapot from Oscar. Jim: "You've gotta be kidding me."
Now that it's over, Phyllis leaves the room, upset. I'm surprised she lasted this long. Everyone starts piling on Michael for acting like a four-year-old and expecting something in return that compares to a $400 iPod. He defensively says, "I got a big bonus because I fired Devon and I used the money to buy something awesome. Sue me!" So now on top of everything else, everyone's pissed at Michael for getting a $3,000 bonus. I think it's safe to assume that they did not. Michael THs bitterly, "Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." And then he's at the liquor store, buying fifteen bottles of vodka. "That should do it," the cashier says. Even if Michael keeps one of the bottles aside to set himself alight?
The party's underway back at the office. Kevin takes his life in his hands, turning up the stereo on his desk while standing in his new foot bath. Fortunately he does not die. Angela never would have forgiven him for that. Jim is trying to trade or buy Pam's teapot back from Dwight, but Dwight refuses, even though he's not a tea-drinker. He plans to use it as a neti pot, and demonstrates how well the spout will fit up his nose. "It's a little too much to handle," Jim THs afterwards, as close to violence as we've ever seen him. It's actually quite hot.
Pam is showing off her new iPod to Roy, who has now decided that he'll just get her "a sweater or something." Michael returns with the booze. Toby gives a typically weak protest, and is typically overridden. Meredith is the first to belly up to the bar. She THs that this is her last hurrah, as she made a New Year's resolution that she won't drink any more. "During the week," she clarifies.
Phyllis brings her boyfriend, Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration, to meet Kevin, Stanley, and Ryan. He shakes each of their hands in turn, introducing himself as "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration" each time. "What line of work you in, Bob?" Ryan deadpans Consider the ice broken.