Jessica, who is not played by an actor I recognize but seems normal and even attractive, walks in and introduces herself to Erin. "We don't say hi," Erin says coldly. "We hug." After running around the desk and doing so, she says they all want Jessica there. "M' ex is meetin' m' sex," Andy THs, which is always scary, especially when he puts it that way. "And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it." Andy rolls up and says he hopes they aren't talking about that, and introduces Jessica as "an assistant cross-country coach at Bryn Mawr." Erin is awed, and Jessica politely calls Erin the backbone of the office. Which causes Erin to go into a whole lame scoliosis routine. Did I just use the phrase "lame scoliosis?" I'm really sorry.

Down in the warehouse, Darryl finishes training Val on the baler before inviting her up to the Christmas party, suggesting that people get pretty dressed up. Although the half-deaf guy thinks Darryl's inviting him.

Jim returns to his desk to find Dwight's keys, wallet, and cell phone on his desk and a blank e-mail open on his computer. Idiotically, Jim makes a move, until he spots Dwight watching him from the hallway. He THs that Dwight's trying to entrap him. "Now I can't drink at this thing. I get really pranky when I drink."

Robert is bartending in the conference room and pours five shots -- one for Erin (who ordered a Kirkland soda) as a challenge. Erin shotguns it and asks for another. Andy looks a little worried in the background.

Jim reads his credit card number into his phone, complete with security code. Yep, Dwight takes the bait, as Jim tells us in a TH. "To send a two-hundred-dollar bouquet of flowers. To my wife. From me." Dwight just cackling-heads.

Holy crap, look at Val! She shows up barely recognizable in a fancy party gown. Darryl pulls her aside and says he didn't mean that dressed up. "You usually dress like a Ghostbuster," he explains. Not helping.