Andy's dressed up as a beardless Santa in his office, and he boasting-heads that he'll be the first office Santa ever to make wishes come true. In the conference room staff meeting, Stanley gets all worked up about Andy's choice of the word "Holiday," and goes off on a rant about past Christmases at the office, including the Moroccan Christmas
Short credits. I hate that.
Back to the meeting. Andy brought his bike so he can grant Meredith's wish for a designated driver, and bought Dwight an acre of beachfront property on the moon. Beachfront, no less. "Santa's" own wish is that they all get along with Jessica -- Andy's girlfriend that they all (and we) have yet to meet. Erin THs about how much she loves Jessica even though she's never seen her. "We don't even need to meet! Stay home!" Up at Reception, Kelly supportively offers to be mean to Jessica on Erin's behalf, because she was going to anyway. Robert comes in looking mildly disheveled and wishes Erin Merry Christmas and Kelly a happy Hindu holiday. Kevin rolls up and engulfs Robert in a bear hug, his idea of sympathy over Robert's wife leaving him. Robert actually appreciates it, what with it being ten days since he had sex. Yeah, hug over. Andy comes out and promises that their party will cheer him up. Robert rants about the Black Eyed Peas at the Corporate party and declares Andy's Santa suit "heartbreaking."
Andy pulls Dwight and Jim into his office, changes from his Santa hat to a Hard Ass hat (complete with stuffed butt-cheeks over the bill) and says someone wants to change desk-clumps. Apparently they two of them are driving Kathy the temp crazy. They start to scuffle right there, but Andy snaps, "Respect the hat!" He threatens that if either of them messes up again, he'll give both their Christmas bonuses to the other. That should calm things down.
Jessica, who is not played by an actor I recognize but seems normal and even attractive, walks in and introduces herself to Erin. "We don't say hi," Erin says coldly. "We hug." After running around the desk and doing so, she says they all want Jessica there. "M' ex is meetin' m' sex," Andy THs, which is always scary, especially when he puts it that way. "And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it." Andy rolls up and says he hopes they aren't talking about that, and introduces Jessica as "an assistant cross-country coach at Bryn Mawr." Erin is awed, and Jessica politely calls Erin the backbone of the office. Which causes Erin to go into a whole lame scoliosis routine. Did I just use the phrase "lame scoliosis?" I'm really sorry.