The Wallaces' cocktail party is underway, and Dwight makes some buffet-table conversation with a little-known fact: "You know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces." Okay, all the product placement on this show is one thing, but I think shaking down the shrimp industry for protection money is out of line.
Out in the driveway, Jan has arrived, and she gives Michael a waiver that she needs him to sign in connection with their relationship. They each get a copy, and so does HR. It's to protect the company, but Michael takes the legal document as a sign of Jan's love, and turns into a big schmoopy schmoopball as a result.. Before going inside, Jan apparently decides to have a nerve-steadying cigarette, which gives her time to TH about this being a "calculated risk," the upside being: "I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside? I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star." Hmm, does that count as a spoiler? Michael signs his copy of the document with a heart over the I in his name. Back to Jan's TH, where she's just been asked why this is so hard. Her answer: "That's what she said. Oh my god, what am I saying?" As they head into the party, Jan tries to keep Michael from acting like the particular brand of diamond-commercial moron he's acting like right now.
Inside, Dwight is rudely calling another guest an idiot for not watching Battlestar Galactica. Michael reenters with Jan, babbling knowledgeably at the Wallaces so that everyone knows he's been here before. More normal pleasantries are exchanged, and then Michael blurts, "Jan and I are lovers." Jan asks for a minute alone with David, leaving Michael alone with Rachel. For about a tenth of a second, that is, before Rachel practically runs into a camera getting out of there.
Pam leaves the bar with two beers, and returns, saying one of them is supposed to be a light. She smiles proudly at us as the bartender fixes his mistake. Whoa, Pam, try not to be such a bulldozer.
At the party, the non-B*G-watching idiot asks Michael how the merger went. Michael says it went great, and tells him to ask Karen, who's standing right there. "I'm the only one left," Karen says, "Everyone else was either fired or quit. And there's one in anger management." The Wallaces join the little grouping, as does Dwight, asking about the house's square footage. Michael tells Dwight that's not appropriate, and asks David how much the house cost. Jim spits his drink back into his glass. Dwight wants to look around. As Rachel leads him off for what she thinks is going to be a normal tour, Karen points out another guest across the room, a guy that she used to date. Jim claims to be glad to know. In the background, Dwight seems to be testing the stability of a banister by trying to shake it loose.