Michael's still seething in his office when Pam comes in with a clipboard, which he signs before she's a half-dozen words into her speech. Pam THs about how there are a lot of department heads, with all the one-person departments, while we see her charming Meredith and Angela by more or less acting like them. Pam calls it "the scam of all scams. And yet very helpful to everyone."
Gabe gets off the phone with corporate to take Toby to task about Michael's evaluation. "You marked 'severe' in all the categories, including 'at risk for homicidal behavior.'" Toby, after an uncomfortable pause: "Heh."
Pam has just gotten Darryl's signature, and has agreed to redo his office in corkboard like Kate Walsh's, which is where she is when Gabe finds her. In the conference room, he awkwardly explains that there's no record of her being office administrator. He doesn't want to accuse her of anything, but just wants things to go back to how they're supposed to be. He just wants to admit...but he can't bring himself to finish the sentence. Pam suddenly realizes this is her leverage. "Say that I'm lying or say I have the job," she says. "Make a definitive statement, Gabe." He refuses, and she advises him to let her know if he needs a new chair or anything. "Will do," he says. She's on her way out when he stops her -- he wants a nameplate. Fortunately he specifies that it should read "Gabe Lewis" and not "Gutless Loser." Nothing worse than a misspelled nameplate, you know. Pam THs that this is what you learn watching poker at 2 AM. "You play the opponent, not the cards." Wow, and to think when M. Edium was still M. Tiny I wasted all those late-night feeding times when I could have been learning shit.
Jim, Dwight and Andy are back at the store, where Dwight had his eye on a pewter wizard statue holding a crystal. Jim reminds Dwight that they're there for revenge, not commerce and up walks a sales guy, who actually looks a little like Dwight himself. Dwight launches into his Pretty Woman speech with his pipe clenched between his teeth, but Jim notices that the sales guy is trying to apologize, and explain that he told Dwight he was welcome back when properly dressed. Whereupon he shows a cell phone photo of Dwight in overalls, holding up what look like bloodstained hands. "It was beet juice! I'm a beet farmer, i--good sir!" In his consternation, Dwight keeps phasing in and out of character, until he finally remembers to brandish his prop shopping bags and say, "You made a big mistake. Huge!" Jim and Andy guide him to the door, but he's still buying the wizard.