The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Hot Michael/Holly Auction

With Phyllis sitting nearby in the kitchen, Dwight mutters into the open fridge about all of the stuff he learned about from Angela: "Pasteurized milk, sheets, monotheism, presents on your birthday..." After snapping at a sympathetic Phyllis that he's just talking to himself, he admits that he wonders why Angela's marrying Andy. "Angela's not really a risk-taker," Phyllis analyzes. "And Andy's not really a risk." Dwight takes a long moment to process this, but recovers in time to comment on how fattening Phyllis's lettuce lunch is. So clearly he appreciates the advice.

Michael and Holly appear to be staying late at the office, playing crazy eights and killing time before it's time to go. And they're killing it dead; all the lights are off in the bullpen and even a brief shared interlude of funny voices seems a bit forced. Finally, as they're walking out of the building, they clasp hands, until she "remembers" that she forgot her keys. She leads him back into lobby, locking the camera crew out and pulling Michael out of view. We hear her say she just didn't want to make out with him in front of the cameras. "Do you think they can hear us?" she asks. Michael shows her the dials on their microphone packs, and their voices get louder as he tries to turn them down. "WE ARE TOTALLY ALONE," we hear him say, having turned the knobs the wrong way. Fortunately, the commercials come before they do.

In the morning, there's a police cruiser outside the office park, and the staff has realized that they've been robbed. Oscar seems the most upset, since his laptop was stolen. As Michael and Holly arrive and take in the chaos, Dwight is in investigator mode as he reports, "Looks like a classic seven-man job." Holly pulls Michael into his office, and they realize that neither of them remembered to lock the door. "So much for sex without consequences," Michael THs.

At least Jim is having a good morning, since Pam's phone apparently pocket-dialed his work voice-mail last night while she was out after three, laughing and calling people dorks. "The future mother of my children," he smirks, hanging up after listening for six minutes. Looks like he's saving the rest for later.

Andy is assuring a freaked-out Angela that she's always safe with him: "I'm a very good screamer." In fact, he promises to one day take her away from this crime capital and move them to Disney Celebration Village. Overhearing this, Dwight pulls Phyllis into the elevator, where the overhead security camera briefly takes over from the documentary crew. She advises him to issue Angela an ultimatum. Dwight has his doubts. "It [worked] when Bob [Vance of Vance Refrigeration] told me I had to stop talking to my sister on the phone so much," Phyllis assures him. Aw, they always seemed like the happiest couple on this show, too.

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The Office




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