Have you bee wondering how Michael's been handling his breakup with Holly? Well, the opening shows him sitting disconsolately at his desk, which seems fairly normal. Then Dwight busts in boisterously, congratulating Michael on his engagement. Wha--? He even punches Michael in the shoulder, a little too hard. So Michael has told everyone he got engaged to Holly, which is less normal and more Michael. Darryl talking-heads, "I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay." Then Andy, Meredith, Phyllis, Jim and Kevin are in Michael's office. Andy pitches the idea of a double wedding with him and Angela, which Michael says they'd never do. "And if we did, it'd be with Jim and Pam." Jim: "Yeah, we'd never do that." Michael: "...So there you go." Kelly comes in, having already gotten her bridesmaid's dress -- in white, of course. They make him call his mom to break the news. "Speakerphone!" Andy says, hitting the button so everyone can hear. Michael gets his mom on the line and tells her, "Mom, I'm gettin' married!" "No you're not," she says immediately. "Why do you always do that?" Michael whines. "Whenever I'm getting married, you don't believe me." That went south so fast. Michael admits to everyone that he isn't getting married at all, and hangs up. "Psych," he says unconvincingly to his employees. Ouch. And, credits.
Kelly brings Michael the customer surveys, along with the receipt for her returned bridesmaid's dress, which she's still out a hundred dollars on. (It was on sale.) Michael ignores the receipt, and then THs about Kelly, whom he describes as "our dusky, exotic customer service rep." He explains that part of her job is to get feedback from the clients about the sales staff, which she submits to Michael annually. "Sort of a Kapoor's List," Michael says. "Schindler's List parody. That's... not appropriate." Well, realizing too late is better than never realizing at all.
Jim THs that these reviews are tied to his bonus, which is good. "You wouldn't know from looking at her," he says, "but Pam's a gold-digger." Suddenly we hear said gold-digger's disembodied voice snapping, "Hey! New York ain't free! Get back to work!" We catch up with Pam in a New York coffee shop, explaining that she picked up a pair of the world's smallest Bluetooth earpieces in the Village. "We wanted to stay on the phone all day, but the company has a policy against eight-hour personal calls. So we're not telling anyone." In the background, her art-school friend Alex (whom we saw earlier in the season, and whom I have since learned is played by some dude from Mad Men, which I've never seen ["Must have been on during episodes of Big Brother" -- Angel]) asks what she wants on her coffee. "Sprinkle of cinnamon," Pam and Jim say at the same time.