The Office
Did I Stutter?

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Michael rushes into the office in the morning, excitedly -- desperately-- ordering everyone to brainstorm ideas for what he can do to the wet cement outside before it dries. After rejecting the ideas involving his initials and drawing a picture, Pam translates Kelly's idea of putting his handprints in it like a movie star. "If you were a real star you'd put your face in it," Jim instigates. Next thing you know, the whole staff is standing outside while Jim makes an impromptu speech and Dwight wraps Michael's face in cellophane. I expect Michael to break his nose on the dry surface, but instead he just leaves a blank oval indentation in the pavement. He THs about a lasting mark that he can show his kids one day, but I think the only lasting mark will be on someone's sprained ankle.

In the kitchen, Andy and Angela play the most boring Mad Lib ever. It's a Bland Lib. After overhearing them, Dwight THs that they seem happy together. "I hope nothing horrible happens to them," he lies.

Pam's wearing glasses! Some attractive women look even better in attractive glasses, my wife being Exhibit A. These are not attractive glasses, and Pam does not look more attractive with them on. She explains that she slept over at a "friend's" house (mmm-hmmm, a "friend") and forgot her contact lens stuff. Hence the Coke-bottles. "Shut up," she concludes. Michael is so turned off by the specs he can't even understand her: "It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist," he says.

Later, Michael's holding a brainstorming meeting when Jim quietly turns to Pam to deliver another one of his fake proposals, which is this case is a sarcastic request for coffee. Either way, her answer right now is no. Meanwhile, Michael's rooting around for new ideas in the field of...well, anything at all, really. Andy throws out a useless idea regarding outgoing voice mail greetings, and Jim tweaks him by deadpanning a one-up of that idea. He's taking the piss, of course, but Andy looks at him like Jim just stabbed him in the back. Then Michael's off into an urban/rap idea, but when he predictably asks Stanley to engage and get involved, Stanly refuses to look up from his crossword puzzle. Michael pushes it and Stanley finally snaps, "Did I stutter?" Silence. Behind Stanley, Toby looks uncomfortable. After last week, I would imagine that shocked silences prompt flashbacks for him. Rather than address what just happened, Michael dashes out for a glass of water. And we wonder why Stanley doesn't respect him. Okay, never mind, obviously we don't.

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The Office

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