Credits. Sing along! True story: My sister came to my parents' house this summer to visit for a week during the time I was staying with them between leases. One day, I went out and came home to find my sister, who had never seen an episode of this show, up to about the fourth one. My mom, who's already a fan, had gotten her hooked. Over the next week, my sister watched the first season, all of the second season, and all but the last two episodes of the third season. And you can bet your ass that my sister, my mom, and I sang along with the theme song...most of the time, I'd say.
We open with Michael peeking in the conference room, where the man we will know as Mr. Brown is setting up the diversity seminar. Looking particularly hair-plug-tastic (something I'm very glad they addressed between this season and the next, because it was hurting my soul), Michael THs that it's Diversity Day, and they're all going to be trained, which he says he's wanted to do for a long time. He tells us that corporate "beat [him] to the punch" in scheduling it, even though he was totally going to. Totally. He loves diversity. And he's turned on by people of different races, which he wants to tell you about, and maybe he can figure out a way.
Jim is at his desk on the phone, and he's trying to sell over a bad connection. Dwight abruptly picks up a shredder and starts to feed it, which loudly disrupts the sales call. Jim unplugs Dwight's shredder; Dwight retaliates by hanging up Jim's phone. Oh, you guys -- just kiss already! Dwight calls this "retaliation -- tit for tit." "That, is not, the expression," Jim says. Dwight returns to shredding. Jim THs that the sale he's doing today gives him a big chunk of his sales for the whole year, and he only has to do it once a year. In fact, he buys a little bottle of champagne, which he hides in his desk. The fridge, Jim! The fridge! It must be chilled!
Jim visits Pam while she's playing solitaire. He points out a card she could move, and she sheepishly admits that she's saving that one, because she likes the sound the cards make when a bunch are moved at once -- the "fft-fft-fft-fft" that you will immediately recognize if you play Freecell on a computer. "Who doesn't love that?" he asks, leaning moonily on his hand like Lucy on the edge of Schroder's piano.
Michael noodles around to ensure that he emerges from his office at the same time Mr. Brown emerges from the conference room next door, and then Michael starts fussing over Oscar, celebrating how he's friends with all the minorities. Mr. Brown says he's ready to start. Jim is forced to interrupt the Yearly Halpert Champagne Closeout Sale to attend the seminar. It turns out that Mr. Brown's firm, Diversity Today, champions "honesty and positive expectations." Kinda right up Michael's alley, ironically, if you think of it as "lacking a filter and ignoring current and potential disasters." We catch, right here, our first glimpse of Kelly Kapoor, although she looks absolutely nothing like herself -- she's dressed like a buttoned-up librarian, complete with a bun. It's like this is Patty, and Future Kelly is Cathy, but either way, Mindy Kaling is TWoP's girlfriend, and has our ID bracelet, and if there were a fraternity that would have us, we would join just so we could give her our pin.