Anyway, in this very uncomfortable seminar, Michael keeps telling everyone that race doesn't exist in his world, and Mr. Brown keeps pointing out that this is…not true, and not that helpful. It's interesting, because I took Sociology with a "there is no color in my eyes" person, and I almost beat him up. Beat him up with sensitivity, that is. Mr. Brown is horribly hamstrung here by the facts that (1) Michael can't shut up; and (2) Michael is as dumb as a bag of racist hammers. Michael demonstrates the problem when he suggests that they start off by having each person "say a race that you are attracted to sexually." Dwight leaps on this question to announce that he likes "white and Indian." Kelly, stationed next to him, freezes in horror, determinedly not looking directly at him. He is a stupidity eclipse. Mr. Brown doesn't like this idea. In fact, he finally makes Michael shut up and sit down. But nicely.
As Mr. Brown continues trying to get the thing moving, Dwight asks to keep gay people out of the discussion, since they're "not a race." He adds that people of other races are often intolerant of homosexuality. "So…paradox," he opines. This is where Mr. Brown announces his name, and Michael insists that he will not be using that name, because it's clearly "a test." No, Mr. Brown explains -- that's his name. Mr. Brown says that on the cards he handed out, they were all asked to write down an uncomfortable incident, and they mostly wrote down the same one -- which is the same one he's here about.
Short version: Michael chose to recite "the Chris Rock routine." That would be the one where…well, I'm not doing it. But suffice it to say that in "reenacting" it for role-playing purposes, Kevin speaks of the difference between "one kind of black people" and "the other kind of black people." Michael, for his part, can't understand why it's okay for Chris Rock, but not okay for him. Paranoid enough to think a guy named "Mr. Brown" is a test; innocent enough to not get...this. Frustrated at Kevin's censoring of the routine during the recitation (violence against comedy cannot stand!), Michael jumps up and puts his tasty foot directly into his disturbing mouth. Of course, when Michael is shrieking epithets at the top of his lungs, Mr. Brown has to reel him in, which is no fun for anyone. Except, I think, Jim.
Later, Jim's phone rings at his empty desk as he stares longingly at it from inside the conference room. Mr. Brown explains about a "HERO" mnemonic of sorts, and as he discusses what makes you a hero, Dwight objects that he has neglected to mention that in order to be a hero, you have to fight crime and be born from a nuclear accident, and you have to be seeking vengeance. "You're thinking of a superhero," Mr. Brown says gently. I think Dwight spends a lot of time thinking of superheroes, actually. Soon, it's time to fill out evaluations, which also serve as acknowledgements of having received training. Michael balks at signing his, but Mr. Brown takes Michael into his office, where he gently (sort of) explains that Michael is the very target of the training -- they all sat through this because Michael fucked up, and Michael is going to have to sign. Michael tries to make Mr. Brown feel guilty, but at last, he grudgingly signs and hands the paper over. Mr. Brown has already toughened up his Michael calluses in less than one day, so Michael's attempts at guilt inducement are ineffective.