In his office, Michael THs about the shameful cultural ignorance of his coworkers, and how he doesn't want them embarrassing him in front of his girlfriend Carol. Which is, after all, Michael's job.
Cut to Michael in the conference room, throwing an impromptu yet condescending symposium on Hinduism and Indian culture, which he starts by giving the floor to a completely unprepared Kelly. It turns out that she doesn't know a great deal more than Michael does about Diwali, which makes Angela's hostile questioning about polytheism kind of pointless. There are even color printouts of various gods pasted on the wall, one of which is blue and topless under the digital blurring. "That one looks like Pam from the neck down," Kevin titters. "Pam wishes," someone snickers (Dwight, according to the closed captioning, but it sounds more like Michael to me). Either way, Pam gives the camera an eloquent look that combines the thoughts See what I have to deal with? and How does this happen? and What is Toby's job, again? and If Jim were here, both of those little boys would be lying in pieces at my feet. Dwight takes the floor and begins to explain the origins of Diwali in terms of an ancient battle between gods, his nerdy enthusiasm for which subject gets him the hook from Michael. "This isn't Lord of the Rings," Michael says, sending him back to his seat.
His dress shirt and tie all sweaty (from biking to work, pervs), Jim walks his bicycle into the Stamford branch, clumsily clipping Andy's visitor chair as he rolls by. He THs (sweatily) that he got the idea from his boss Josh, who smoothly enters in spandex, effortlessly carrying his bike down the narrow aisle in one hand. Stamford has everything but outdoor bike racks, it seems. Karen mordantly compliments Jim's basket. Jim accepts with a sunny (and sweaty) grin. She meant the basket on your bike, Jim.
Michael has moved onto the slide presentation part of the meeting. "There are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians." Cue slides of Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar, Kwik-E-Mart proprietor Apu from The Simpsons, and film director M. Night Shyamalan (of course you already knew who Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar was). After Dwight spoils The Sixth Sense, the next slide is a washed-out self-portrait of Michael kissing Carol, and Michael laughs like, oh, gosh, what an embarrassing mistake, silly me. He's not in too much of a hurry to change the slide, though, is he?