Stamford. Andy counts down to what might be the second or third shot of Jäg, and he and Jim down theirs in unison. But with the boys' backs to her, Karen dumps hers into her trash can, then makes some impressive fake zowie-faces for Jim's benefit when he turns to share the moment. Of course I'm not the first to say this, but sneaky, sneaky Karen.
Roy arrives at the Diwali party, at which Indian music has briefly given way to a little Beyoncé. He's looking good in a dress shirt and blazer, but when he sees Pam happily cutting a rug with Kelly's whole doctor, he sadly turns and leaves. I would bust on him for giving up so easily, but obviously that's the strategy that works on Pam in the long term. And that's why I remain convinced that it's only a matter of time for her and Toby.
Later, Carol is out on the dance floor while Michael talks to Kelly's parents. He marvels at how they've been married thirty years after meeting only once before their wedding night. It's going fine until Michael has to ask whether Mama Kapoor will one day have to throw herself on Papa Kapoor's funeral pyre. In case you're curious, the answer is no. "It's still cool, "Michael assures them. Luckily, Carol drags Michael to the dance floor before either of them can start checking their pockets for matches.
Another three Jäg shots go down at Stamford -- two in the boys, one in the trash. And considering how trashed the boys are at this point, that distinction is getting a little blurry.
Michael can't stop staring across the room at Kelly's parents, who are a little creeped out by his attention. Carol asks if he's all right, and he says he will be. As always, he is wrong. Michael has been inspired, which in Michael's case generally means that he is about to do something stupid and embarrassing. Yep, here we go. He goes up front, commandeers the microphone, and stops the music. With everyone's attention, he calls himself a "crazy gringo" and awkwardly proposes to Carol in front of everyone. Everyone "aw"s excitedly, except of course for the people who know Michael. Especially Carol, who wants to talk about it in private. Michael is astute enough to see that as a bad sign, and drops the live mic on the floor before following her out. Great job, Michael -- stop the party, humiliate your date (some more) and yourself (a lot more), and then deafen everybody else.
Outside the building, Carol is seriously upset, pointing out that this is only their ninth date. Michael blathers about how he feels like he's known her for lifetimes, and maybe is a little Hindu himself. Carol doesn't even have to point out the fact that he had her come to a Diwali party in costume before he backs off of that. "I just like you so much," Michael says, which doesn't exactly sweep her off her feet. Carol's leaving, and Michael's on his own for a ride home. At least until inspiration strikes, and he makes one more big, romantic bid: "I've got this book called the Kama Sutra." "Good night, Michael," Carol says. And man, what a shame to let that cheerleader outfit go to waste.