Michael THs that he saw his whole life flashing before his eyes. "And guess what? I have four kids and I have a hover car and a hover house, and my wife is a runner, and it shows, and Pam and Jim are my best friends, and our kids play together, and I am happy, and I am rich, and I never die. Doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me."

In the tag, Dwight is holding a frozen chicken to Michael's face. "I owe you one, Dwight," Michael says. Dwight looks at us, realizing this is his chance, and says, "Fire Jim." Michael refuses. Dwight gets pissed off and storms out. "This is my dinner on your face. I'm keeping it." Michael feels better anyway. So everyone wins but Dwight. Which is as it should be.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter , or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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