Michael has finally succeeded in railroading Jim and Pam into going out with him and his girlfriend, who unfortunately is still Pam's mom. However, Pam seems to be coming around on that score. So of course Michael, suddenly freaked out that he's dating a 58-year-old grandma-to-be, picks that moment to dump her, at lunch, on her birthday, in front of Jim and Pam and everything. Pam's pissed off all over again, to the point where she literally wants to hit Michael in the face. He manages to avert that with a last-second apology, but earns it all over again by shooting off his mouth. Yes, Michael gets clocked by a pregnant lady.
Meanwhile, Dwight's latest campaign against Jim takes the form of racking up favors so everyone will owe him, which is complicated by the fact that Andy keeps one-upping him. He seems to have a breakthrough, though, when Michael is grateful to him for nursing his bruised puss. But he refuses to fire Jim to return the favor. At this rate, Dwight will soon have no choice but to order himself an Acme Jim-Trap and a case of anvils.
Dwight makes the rounds of the bullpen with a basket of bagels, all the way from New York. Everyone thanks him for his thoughtfulness, but when he tells them, "You owe me," he's not just using it as an expression. Particularly when he goes into Michael's office and pushes one on him, despite Michael attempting to decline (along with some creepy allusions to his girlfriend [still Pam's mom] and her non-need for an aphrodisiac fish-stick sandwich). Dwight reminds Michael, "You owe me," and then talking-heads, "Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him any more? Jeez, when did everyone get so cynical?"
Dwight doesn't succeed in getting Pam to take a bagel, even with some sexist insight about how women are expected to refuse food on first offer. She THs that she has an early lunch -- specifically, a birthday lunch for her mom that Michael has planned. "No way out," she says breezily. And then again, less breezily.
Ryan is showing Erin a portfolio of photos. It starts with some basic, B&W photography-class crap to fish her in so he can ask her about participating in his "exposure in the workplace" series, an example of which is Kelly at her desk wearing nothing but a string of pearls and some blurry pixels. That is so fucking creepy. Can you imagine if Toby got wind of this? He would get so sad. Fortunately, right then is when Pam's mom rolls in, so Ryan has to slap it shut (unfortunately, no one slaps Ryan). Pam gets up and hugs her, giving Michael the chance to come out creepily and hug them both. You don't often see him move that fast.
Michael THs about how the birthday lunch will help Pam get over all her reservations. Less helpful on that score? Angela, who asks Pam, "Aren't you going to introduce us to Michael's girlfriend?" Pam's mom shows off the necklace Michael gave her, in her sleep that morning. "The rest of the story is censored due to inappropriosity," Michael says. "Because of sex?" Kevin duhs. Pam is horrified, and even Michael fires him. Jim gives Kevin an encouraging little head-shake before joining his wife, his mother-in-law, and his co-boss at the exit, but before they leave, Pam gets an urgent call from a client and says she can't make lunch. "Right as we were about to leave, too," Jim notes skeptically. "Isn't that always how it goes?" Pam says unconvincingly. "Rarely, if ever," Jim says, and takes over the "Really? That's great! Turns out the paper was there all along," he says, hanging up. Creed acts deeply relieved, but THs, "Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive."