The Office

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Violence in the Workplace

That's nothing compared to the awkwardness of the ride back to the office, with the women in the back this time around. Helene asks, "I'm 58. What am I supposed to do now?" "Well, hobbies..." Michael begins. "Stop," Jim says.

Dwight comes upon Andy in the stock room trying to reach something on a high shelf, and when he offers to help, he discovers a Starbucks gift card, for everyone. "Surpriiiise!" Andy sings happily. Dwight frustratedly THs about his wasted day. "I could have grown poison mushrooms that'd be THIS HIGH BY NOW!" he bitches, holding his hand thisfar above the carpet.

Michael calls Pam into is office, claiming it's a work-related matter when she resists. He says he's going to give her a raise for her good work. "I have the lowest sales record if anyone here," she protests. He says it's about attitude. "I have the worst attitude of any person here," she protests in exactly the same tone. But she'll take the raise, which is when Michael says there are strings attached, "From my heart to your mean attitude." He's not getting anywhere, even in his attempts to read her stony face, and he finally gives up and asks what she wants. "Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Do want me to get down on one knee and beg you?" Pam goes with door number two. Michael doesn't think she's serious, and she asks if he's kidding. He stutters, "Y-no." he offers to tense his stomach so she can do it right there, but she wants to wait until after work so they can do it in the parking lot, in front of everyone. "I'm going to hit you as hard as I can." Michael agrees, and Pam leaves happy. Does she still get the raise?

Ryan and Kelly come in and ask if he's scared. They seemed to be fooled by his downplaying of it, even if we aren't. "I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen," Ryan says, which is probably the most empathetic thing he's ever said in his entire life. Michael's brave front falters, but he says he's good.

But then he goes into Jim's office and asks, "Do you and Pam ever get frisky?" "Inappropriate," Jim answers easily, not even thrown by these questions any more. But he admits that they do wrestle sometimes, and when Michael asks if she's strong, he simply says, "She wants it bad, Michael." Michael asks if Jim can stop it. Jim says he can. "And I don't support her choice to hit you. But at the same time, she goes crazy!" Jim says he'll make a decision in a week or two.

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The Office




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