The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Violence in the Workplace

Toby approaches Pam's desk to talk about what he calls "the hit." His position? It's fine if they're off company property. "And the power comes from the back foot," he adds, giving her some pointers while Michael watches from his office.

Everyone's waiting outside at the end of the day, but Michael's a no-show. Kevin's money's on Pam, and when Oscar points out it's not a fight, he plaintively says, "Why can't you just agree with me sometimes?" In the stairwell, Michael claims he's not scared to get hit, after all, people pay dominatrix's to hit them everyday. "I'm scared I'm gonna love it! Let's do this!"

Michael finally steps into the ring of employees with Pam. She raises her fist, and he flinches and throws his hands up. Twice. Angela tells him to put his hands in his pockets, and when Pam's fist goes up again, he stops her and says he's sorry. "What are you sorry for?" she asks, in that tone that indicates there is a right answer and a wrong answer, and God help you if you give the wrong one. Michael gives a vague answer, so she helps him out. "How about for dating my mom? And dumping her on her birthday?" Michael agrees, and Pam just shakes her finger in his face, telling him to never date a member of her family again. But when she turns away, Michael quickly says, "For the record, your mom came on to me." Pam swings back around, and this time her fist connects. "Holy crap!" Phyllis says. Pam asks if he's okay. "No!" he sobs childishly. "You're okay," she says, and walks off with Jim. "Feel better?" he asks her. "No, you were right," she says. Dwight walks Michael back into the office "Let's get some raw meat on that face." I think Pam took care of that already. Can you imagine her doing that in Season One? Or even Four? Or a month ago?

Michael THs that he saw his whole life flashing before his eyes. "And guess what? I have four kids and I have a hover car and a hover house, and my wife is a runner, and it shows, and Pam and Jim are my best friends, and our kids play together, and I am happy, and I am rich, and I never die. Doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me."

In the tag, Dwight is holding a frozen chicken to Michael's face. "I owe you one, Dwight," Michael says. Dwight looks at us, realizing this is his chance, and says, "Fire Jim." Michael refuses. Dwight gets pissed off and storms out. "This is my dinner on your face. I'm keeping it." Michael feels better anyway. So everyone wins but Dwight. Which is as it should be.

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The Office




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