The Office

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Kick to the Head

Jim THs that he actually did used to play soccer. "From second to fourth grade. I was on the orange team."

Michael and Pam pick up Vikram from the telemarketing place, and the next thing you know, he's in the back of the PT Cruiser. Michael makes a stop, claiming he has to pee, and as he gets out of the car and walks into a bowling alley. Vikram remarks that Michael seems very confident, and Pam says he sometimes is. Vikram says, "Confidence is the food of the wise man and the liquor of the fool." Pam speaks for all of us when she says, "I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, Vikram."

Inside the bowling alley, Michael goes to the shoe rental counter to talk to the shoe rental guy. It's Ryan, with a bad blonde dye job. Michael pitches the idea of a company that has no memory of Ryan's past misdeeds, "Because they have no files." Ryan's listening.

Out in the car, Vikram comments on how long Michael's been gone and wonders if Michael is bowling. She can't rule it out, so she goes in after him, and busts him talking to Ryan. "This isn't on the list," she says. Michael insists it is, and she takes the list out. "When did you add this to the list?" she demands. Michael says, "Everyone deserves a second second chance." And goes back to Ryan, Who claims he's making 60,000 a year. Pam doubts that, and Ryan retorts, "What do you make, secretary?" Ryan's boss yells at him, "Back to work, shoe bitch!" And as much as Ryan may have hated working for Michael, at least Michael never called him "shoe bitch." So Ryan steals them each a pair of shoes and they dash out. "He's already paying for himself!" Michael says happily.

Charles kicks a paper cup into the kitchen, trying to get Jim into it, and Jim ends up having to fish it out from under the counter with his hand. Charles even high-fives him in excitement over getting to play with him later.

In the car, Ryan offers to tell them about Thailand. "It was indescribable," he says. Thanks, Ryan.

Michael leads his new team into the meeting with the investor. Who turns out to be his grandmother. In an assisted living facility. Who belongs to an "investment club." Next thing we know, Michael is competing with the Maury Povich show for the attention of three oldsters as he introduces his employees. It's going well enough, until his Nana starts to ask some actual questions.

Out in the parking lot, Charles is asking what position everyone plays. "Wing?" Someone says. "Leg?" Kevin guesses. Charles asks Jim what he plays, and Jim agrees that he's a "striker," whatever that is. As Dwight blows a whistle and a non-kickoff happens, Jim says his strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible. "Chalk it up to teamwork." We'll soon see how that goes.

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The Office




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