Dwight yells at Kevin to spit out his mouthful of Danish, since he's "next." Kevin disobeys, re the pastry, but heeds that call to enter the conference room, at the doorway of which Dwight is standing while wearing his full Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy uniform. "You look cute today, Dwight," Jim says. "Thanks, girl" Dwight spits back, slamming the conference room door. Advantage: Schrute. What's all this about? Jim explains that Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot, and as we see Dwight placing little traffic cones around the crime scene, Jim says, "Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs."
Dwight interrogates Kevin, describing the symptoms of marijuana use. Kevin realizes that Dwight is also describing the symptoms of being Kevin. "Heyyy," he objects stonerly. Dwight THs that he didn't take the volunteer gig to make friends. "And by the way," he boasts, "I haven't."
Jim impersonates Stanley in the break room for Pam, who cracks up and THs for our benefit that Jim does impressions. She does Jim doing Phyllis for us and is embarrassed when nobody laughs. I actually thought that was a pretty good impression of Oscar doing Creed doing Toby.
In the conference room, Deputy Dwight gets tired of Kelly's babbling about her party adventures with Ryan, and yells at her to just tell him what time she went home last night. Kelly cowers, and says she left at 6.
Now that Dwight has learned from Kelly that Ryan was at a party on Saturday, he demands Ryan's keys so that he can search Ryan's car. Ryan refuses. Dwight warns Ryan not to do this the hard way. Ryan asks what that entails: Dwight: "I go down to the police station on my lunch break. I tell a police officer -- I know several -- what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him." "Yeah, let's do it that way," Ryan agrees.
Michael finally appears, telling Dwight to chill already. Dwight hotly insists that it's his job as a deputy (ignoring Jim's interjection of the word "volunteer" every time he takes a breath). Michael coughs, "Narc!" Which Dwight totally takes all the fun out of. Not that there was a great deal there to begin with. Michael ends the scene with an interminable, nonsensical monologue in stoner-ese cobbled together from dimly remembered movie trailers. Michael Scott just became my anti-drug.