The Office

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Angela's Exes

Dwight is out in the parking lot, alone, calling Andy out and whipping some kind of short, skinny leather loop around. Andy is nowhere to be seen. Of course, there's a crowd gathered in the window above again, because they're all too grown up to gather around in a big circle in the parking lot. "I can't believe they're going to fight over me," Angela marvels. Yeah, me either. "I guess people have fewer choices as they get older," Kelly speculates. Down in the parking lot, Dwight finally notices a note pinned to the high hedge bordering the parking lot. Dwight thinks it's a pathetic showing from Andy, but begins reading it aloud anyway. It admits that Dwight would beat him in any physical confrontation. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly," Andy wrote. Oh, hey, there's Andy -- behind the wheel of his Prius, which is slowly pulling out of a parking spot and approaching an unsuspecting Dwight from behind. "The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour," Oscar explains to his fellow spectators. "He deserves the win." And it looks like he's going to get it, as Andy slowly crushes Dwight's knees against the hedge with his front bumper, effectively trapping him half-turned around. Jim actually runs for the door. "Get out of there and face me like a man!" Dwight rages, thumping Andy's hood with his loop. Without getting out of his car, Andy yells back that he's more of a man than Dwight. "I would never sleep with another man's fiancée!" Dwight taunts back that Andy isn't a man. "All you do is dress fancy and sing!...You can't even protect her!" Andy: "Protect her from what? Bears, you idiot? When's the last time you saw a damn bear in Scranton?" Dwight: "Last year, idiot!" Jim arrives and heroically asks Dwight if his legs are broken. "My right one's falling asleep a little bit," Dwight admits." "Go away, Tuna, I'm winning this!" Andy yells from his car. Jim backs off, retreating around a corner so he can listen to them bicker with a pained expression on his face. Finally Andy yells, "I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice?" Whoa, what? Angela slept with Andy? That even gets Dwight's attention. "She said she was only sleeping with me," Dwight murmurs, heartbroken. Andy puts his head on his steering wheel. Dwight looks up at the window, where Angela is the only one still watching. Aside from all of us, that is.

Everyone's back in their places by the time Andy returns, shortly followed by Dwight. Both seem unhurt, at least physically. Both go straight to their desks without sparing a glance for Angela, who's looking at both of them in expectant suspense. Andy gets back on the phone with the cake person, but this time to cancel the order. And Dwight makes like he's going to move the Dwight bobblehead, but he drops it in the trash instead. Well, those are two very clear messages, both of which Angela receives loud and clear. Looks good on her.

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The Office

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