The Office
The Office

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Wing Chun: A- | 1571 USERS: B-
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Dunder Mifflin Infinity

So Ryan is there to announce Dunder Mifflin Infinity. It's an overall Six Sigma-ish strategy to streamline the business, but the centrepiece is a business-to-business website. We break in with a Jim interview where he says he thought DM already had a website, and then we cut to his desk as he shows it off: an "Under Construction" page (complete with stick-figure construction worker) promising that the website will be unveiled for Christmas 2002. So if you opened all your gifts that year and none of them was a ream of paper, now you know why. Back in the meeting, Ryan says that DM will be getting "younger" and "sleeker" -- to that end, all essential personnel will be issued Blackberries. And they're the cool new Blackberries that look like phones, not the freaking piece of black Texas Toast I was issued. Dwight asks what if you don't want to use a Blackberry because they're "pointless and stupid." Dude, I agree with Dwight! Stop me before I buy a pair of glasses from the drugstore! Anyway, it's company policy. Andy suggests calling the strategy "Dunder Mifflinfinity." Why is this guy in Sales and not Marketing. Kelly raises her hand to ask Ryan, "Can we speak privately about our relationship?" By way of answer, Ryan breaks up the meeting. As everyone files out, Creed kisses up to Ryan, asking when the website's going up. Ryan says it'll be as soon as possible. So...eight months from now? Or eight months from when a search committee picks a design firm? Or eight months from when you find a domain name you can register? Fine, go talk about your relationship.

Creed heads straight for Michael's office to announce that they're screwed. Michael's actually pretty excited about everything until Creed puts ideas into his head about how the Infinity strategy is going to result in the removal of all the older people in the office -- the two of them, as well as Phyllis, "Sammy" (that probably would be Stanley), and "the chick [he] hit with the car." are all on their way out. I think Michael still might be stuck on the notion that being forty makes him one of the office's elder statesmen.

In the break room, Jim, with great relish, tells Pam that Dwight and Angela have been seeing each other for months. Pam plays with him a little before saying that they've actually been dating two years, since before Jim's barbecue. Each fondly twits the other for not sharing the secret. Jim says that they should have started dating a long time ago. Shippers across the world: "YEAH-HUH!" Phyllis enters, beaming, and immediately apologizes for interrupting them. Pam and Jim are like, "Just eating our lunch, it's cool," but Phyllis says she couldn't see their hands. Which are completely visible, but whatever. Phyllis, still grinning at Pam, reminds her that when potential clients call up the company, Pam is supposed to assign them to salespeople randomly, not according to whichever one of them Pam might be sleeping with. Pam and Jim hold their looks of dismay for a beat, and then Jim interviews that that's why they kept their relationship a secret. Oh, that was why? Not the risk of getting a forehead kiss from Michael?

The Office

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