Ryan comes to the conference room to see everyone already sitting there. He thinks he's about to give a Blackberry tutorial, but in fact, everyone's waiting for a mystery presentation from Michael. Ryan notices several printouts taped to the wall at the front of the room: the old bag from Titanic, and the old bag from the "Where's the beef?" commercials, among others. Ryan thinks he sees where this is going, and tries to stop it when Michael arrives, but Michael bossily sends him to take a seat, and gets down to it. He says that they've heard a lot today about new ideas, and that new ideas are fine, but that "they are also illegal." You see, Jan? YOU SEE?! Michael calls new ideas a form of ageism. He reads out some facts he ganked from Wikipedia about some age discrimination act. Toby quietly tells Jim he believes Michael's right (which doesn't stop Michael telling him to shut up, of course). Michael rhetorically asks why we hate old people so much. "Because they're lame," says Creed. Ha! But Michael says they're not lame, and mentions their great storytelling ability (like the Titanic broad) and their moments of homespun humor (like the Wendy's lady). Michael's just warming to his theme when an elderly gentleman appears in the doorway: turns out this is one of the founders of the company, Robert Dunder. Everyone claps in surprise that their was an actual entrepreneur, at some point, behind this now struggling venture. Ryan calls Michael out into the hall to complain that they have actual work to do, but Michael threatens to call David Wallace and tell him Ryan turfed one of the founders of the company. The camera pushes in on Ryan as he considers whether to call Michael's bluff...
...but he must have studied game theory in his MBA program, because the next thing we see is Mr. Dunder telling the group that he's eighty-seven. Aw, he doesn't look a day over eighty-five.
Dwight breaks in to interview that he's going to live for a long time; his Grandmother Schrute lived to be 101, and his Grandfather Mannheim is 103, and still living in Argentina: "I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation." HA!
Mr. Dunder starts telling the story about the founding of the company. Apparently, back then, he used to wear an onion on his belt -- which was the style at the time. And nickels were called "bumblebees." "Gimme five bees for a quarter," they'd say! It doesn't take long for Mr. Dunder to lose the crowd, and Michael, his point apparently made, hustles him back out the hall, ignoring his requests for a ride or at least a cab chit. Michael sums up what they've learned: "You can't teach a dog new tricks. Because it's illegal, and you'll go to jail." Also, don't ask old people to tell you about what their lives were like when they were still contributing members of society. Pam raises her hand to offer to take Mr. Dunder home, and pretty much ignores Michael's attempts to put her off. "What a nice guy," says Michael of Mr. Dunder, as Pam takes off with him. Yes, Michael, I'm sure he's saying the same about you.