The Office
Dunder Mifflin Infinity

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Dunder Mifflin Infinity

Ryan meets with Michael in his office, obnoxiously thumb-typing for like half a minute before addressing the human in front of him, waiting to speak. Michael casually asks whether it's going to be "business as usual" under this whole Infinity deal. Ryan says no. Michael asks the same question a different way, and Ryan seriously informs him that he knows exactly how inefficient the branch is, and that these changes are meant to address that. Now Michael is very alarmed, and in an interview, he frowns through an anecdote about a foreign exchange student who lived with him for a while when he was a kid. Michael thought he was Michael's brother, but when the guy ended up returning home to what is now the former Yugoslavia, he stole all of Michael's jeans, and Michael had to spend the winter in shorts. Okay, Mrs. Scott couldn't be arsed to buy her kid any long pants for a Pennsylvania winter? We have got to meet this piece of work soon, and if she's not played by the same crusty broad who plays Mac's mom on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, I'm going to be kind of pissed. The point of this yarn? "That is what Ryan's like: a fake brother who steals your jeans." And sells them for hair gel, evidently.

Speaking of Ryan, he finds Kelly in the back corner where they both used to work. He asks how she is, and she declares that she's doing great, and is dating a lot of guys -- mostly black, apparently. Um, Darryl can totally do better. Ryan sighs, "Kelly." Kelly: "WHAT." The camera pans to Toby, whose day, if you can imagine it, actually just got worse.

Phyllis and Stanley kvetch about their Blackberries, even though they're the cooler new ones. Ingrates.

Kelly wants Ryan to tell her he cares about her. Ryan reminds her that he's her boss now, and that she can't talk to him like he's her boyfriend. Kelly gets sarcastic about the "big, strong man," and says she doesn't think he ever cared about her. Ryan counters that six months ago, Karen sent him an email asking him out, and he refused because he was so committed to his relationship with Kelly. Assuming that little tidbit is going to play out at some point, because six months ago wasn't Karen still with Jim? Anyway, Kelly hopes Ryan is still committed to it because SHE'S PREGNANT!

Cut to Kelly in an interview, who briefly shakes her head "no." And I mean, she is so blasé about it that she doesn't even shake her head "no"; it's more like she shakes her head "nah."

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The Office




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