The Office
Dunder Mifflin Infinity

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Dunder Mifflin Infinity

...but he must have studied game theory in his MBA program, because the next thing we see is Mr. Dunder telling the group that he's eighty-seven. Aw, he doesn't look a day over eighty-five.

Dwight breaks in to interview that he's going to live for a long time; his Grandmother Schrute lived to be 101, and his Grandfather Mannheim is 103, and still living in Argentina: "I tried to go visit him once, but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation." HA!

Mr. Dunder starts telling the story about the founding of the company. Apparently, back then, he used to wear an onion on his belt -- which was the style at the time. And nickels were called "bumblebees." "Gimme five bees for a quarter," they'd say! It doesn't take long for Mr. Dunder to lose the crowd, and Michael, his point apparently made, hustles him back out the hall, ignoring his requests for a ride or at least a cab chit. Michael sums up what they've learned: "You can't teach a dog new tricks. Because it's illegal, and you'll go to jail." Also, don't ask old people to tell you about what their lives were like when they were still contributing members of society. Pam raises her hand to offer to take Mr. Dunder home, and pretty much ignores Michael's attempts to put her off. "What a nice guy," says Michael of Mr. Dunder, as Pam takes off with him. Yes, Michael, I'm sure he's saying the same about you.

Once the meeting's broken up, Ryan takes Michael aside to tell him that technology is not the enemy. Michael insists that the old tools of business work great, and that he will prove it to Ryan. Quick, someone hook up the stock ticker, and rig a pneumatic-message system that connects to the office in New York!

Michael drifts off, and Kelly comes up to Ryan, eager for their "date." He asks where she wants to go, and she suggests somewhere "romantic or expensive." You know, either one. He's like, "Kelly..." and she puts her hands on her stomach, saying she feels kind of nauseated anyway. Advantage: Kapoor.

And speaking of uncomfortable meals, Angela dumps Dwight in a restaurant. She can't be with him: she can't look in his eyes without seeing Sprinkles (to which Dwight advises that she not look in his eyes, then). She'll leave his toothbrush on top of his tire the next morning. And if I know Dwight, he'll continue to use that toothbrush until its every bristle falls out.

After commercials, Michael's assembled the sales team in the conference room: his strategy for proving Ryan wrong about Infinity is: gift baskets! Michael's going to bring them to ex-DM clients to try to win them back. Well, that would work on me. And did work on me. Watching this bit, it was about two and a half hours after we finished dinner: snack time. One of those gift baskets was ALL I WANTED IN THE WORLD for the next half-hour.

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