After the ads, Oscar looks at the bullet-hole in the floor in shock. "There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. Why would they do that?" Andy seems to be trying to pitch-match the ringing in his ears. Meredith starts making a list for insurance fraud, and Dwight hands the gun off to an all-too-willing Creed as Toby comes in asking what happened. Fortunately, Kelly is there to bear witness: "Dwight went on a shooting spree and then he shot Andy in the head." Dwight is already trying to weasel out of this, pointing out that nobody actually saw a bullet leave a gun. Andy's still worried, and Oscar tires to get on WebMD (getting mocked by Angela), and finds it blocked. Jo is unreachable, probably already on the plane, and Andy wants to go to the hospital. Erin offers to go with him, and Gabe's roar of "No!" is louder than the gunshot, although he claims it's because they need a receptionist, "Now more than ever." Darryl steps up, and Andy starts draping himself over him until Darryl reminds him he can probably walk normally. Toby's at least excited that he gets to finally use the gun-violence form in the accident report binder. Gabe's still trying to reach Jo, and Dwight calls a meeting in the conference room, right now.
Once everyone's assembled, Dwight leaps in wearing a cowboy hat and trying to be a character called "Gun Safety Dwight." He's obviously asked himself WWMD (what would Michael do?) but can't pull it off for more than a few seconds. He claims to be launching an investigation, downplaying the fact that everyone else saw it. Again, he tries to pull a Michael by sucking up to them: "Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. And I mean that figuratively, not literally. Because you guys are so, so important to me. I love you guys, but don't cross me, but you're the best!"
Andy and Darryl return, and Andy breaks the news that he has a burst eardrum that could take weeks to heal. "Did they say what caused it?" Dwight asks solicitously. "Because I know you like putting Q-tips deep into your ear canal." Andy says it's temporary deafness in one ear, which is at least better than both, like it was in the waiting room. Darryl confesses that he was just moving his lips without making any sound. "I don't feel good about it, but he just kept calling himself a gunshot victim and it got to me." Kelly picks this moment to ask for tomorrow off for an American Idol audition, and when Dwight says no, offers to sing her solo right here, which is about her temporary boss going on a shooting spree. Dwight changes his mind in a hurry. So Phyllis wants an extra vacation day, Angela wants pet day back ("no dogs"), Kevin wants the vending machine restocked, "except the fruit," and Pam wants all of Dwight's weapons gone, including the killer fish. Dwight looks at Jim, who only wants Dwight to say "shagadelic" to Jo at least three times, and do jazz hands whenever Jim coughs.