The Office
E-mail Surveillance

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now!
E-mail Surveillance

In the living room, Pam notices that Dwight and Angela are talking outside. She grins at us, and calls Phyllis over to ask about "secret office romances." Phyllis is like, "You tell me." Pam's confused. "You do mean you and Jim, right?" Phyllis asks, but already realizing she's just pulled another one of her patented phuck-ups. Seeing Pam's frozen expression, she backpedals frantically. Pam plays it off, but her expression tells us she's more upset about this than she would have been about getting sap on her lavender moccasins. Or even about owning lavender moccasins.

Outside, Ryan reaches for the grill. "Not so fast, fire guy," Kevin smirks at him. Watching scenes like this now, with the knowledge of Season 4 Douchebag Ryan Yet To Come, takes away some of the squirm factor. But that's more than made up for by seeing these moments as punishment for his many future sins. Which is what I choose to do. Join me, won't you?

And here's Michael not getting invited to another group outing with the improv class. He claims he'd love to join them, but that he's got an office party he can't get out of. Oh, Michael.

Phyllis is warbling "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake on Jim's karaoke machine when Jim comes to sit by Pam and ask how her "side project" is going. Pam says that she gave it up, and then THs that "people can just be friends," adding, "I think it was really unfair of us to assume that there was anything else going on." Oh, was it unfair? Of us? Sorry, Pam. Jeez. Go loll around on Jim's bed some more.

Rock Star Kevin is belting out the Cake version of "I Will Survive," and everyone's having a great time. Until Dwight jumps up yelling "Surprise!" Yes, Michael's here. To the suddenly quiet room, Michael starts his passive-aggressive routine about how he was just driving by. He throws his jacket at Ryan, and involuntarily drops the act when he sees the IT guy and says, "Come on, that guy?" Suddenly remembering: "He's a good guy, not a terrorist." He calls dibs on the karaoke machine, disregarding anyone who may have been waiting their turn properly, because they put their name in when they were supposed to, and have politely listened to everyone else sing, and were fucking invited.

And then Michael's got "Islands In The Stream" going, which is a duet, but no one's joining him. It's like going for a high-five and getting left hanging for three minutes. He's even reduced to singing the Dolly Parton part in falsetto. Finally, Jim shakes his head, takes pity on Michael, and joins him for the chorus. As we enjoy this small, dissonant moment of redemption, the camera zooms in on Jim's kitchen window. Outside, a pair of hideous lavender moccasins are rubbing up against a pair of Birkenstocks with red-and-green socks. And the owners of both pairs of shoes are horizontal. Yep, they just had to look under the book.

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The Office




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