As the rest of the participants prepare to run, Michael goes around the corner with Dwight to carbo-load with a big takeout tin of fettucine Alfredo. Yes, I seem to recall my trainer recommending that I do the same before our sessions.
Michael then exhorts the runners that it's not about winning, it's about finishing. He calls everyone to their marks, pulls down Toby's shorts (and I might be more traumatized by Toby's flesh-toned jockstrap than Pam was by Michael's actual genitals), and then Dwight fires an enormous, like, Saturday Night Special and the runners take off. Seriously, that thing looks like it could put out more than one injured animal, down on the farm, with a single shot.
Pam interviews that when someone makes you nervous, you actually shouldn't picture him naked. You should picture him clothed -- possibly with a big coat. I'm guessing that in this case, picturing said person clothed, in a coat, and walking around in a yurt would actually be ideal.
The runners run. Poor Kevin really is running in his shirt and dress pants -- he didn't even take off his tie. Darryl chats up Elizabeth.
Michael races past Stanley, Creed, and Oscar, who cheer him on for being so fast. Michael tells the camera that he's like Forrest Gump, only not an idiot...while, behind him, Creed, Oscar, and Stanley get into a cab. Stanley interviews that he will be working out today -- he'll work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause. Tell that to Future Darryl.
Andy reminds us that he's walked two marathons, so finishing this 5K should be no problem. He plans to succeed by reducing wind resistance, which we see means running directly behind Kevin. Hey! Kevin's not that big! Or possibly my horizons have just expanded since I've been watching The Biggest Loser.
Last to leave the parking lot are Pam and Jim. They banter about being bummed to be in last place, and as they watch their co-workers disappear ahead of them, Jim reaches for Pam's hand. The squee-ing! It's deafening!
Along the route, Jan has set up a stand with cups of water; Toby takes a sip from one and flings the cup back in Jan's face. "Water, babe?" Jan calls to Michael. He declines; rabies makes you scared of water. Jan reminds him that he is not rabid, but he says that replicating the feeling is the least he can do for the cause. Making the giant cheque for $340 the second-least he could do.