At Corporate, Ryan -- with studied scruff and in a black on black on black ensemble -- expresses extremely false modesty over being called a "wunderkind."
Dwight and Angela have a clandestine meeting in which she asks him to go feed Sprinkles for her. He's on board through the insulin shot and the ACE inhibitor, but by the time she gets around to describing something he'll have to do to the base of her tail, it's clear he's thinking that it's time to just throw this cat away. And even if he's not, I am.
Michael enters the break room to make an announcement. Phyllis guesses that he shot Dwight, but in fact, it is that, to take everyone's mind off Meredith's injury, he wants them to plant a tree. Pam basically ignores him and starts reeling off her plan for people to visit Meredith in shifts. She says she can take three people in her car, and Jim echoes the offer. Oscar notes to Kevin that they're taking separate cars. Michael offers to take more in his car, and when Stanley expresses his shock that Michael would even suggest that, Michael heatedly reminds everyone that no one inside Michael's car was hurt, which is both an excellent observation and a possible selling point for the Sebring. Anyway, it ends with Michael overruling Pam and ordering everyone to go see Meredith together, en masse, because nothing's more restful to a recuperating patient than seeing eighteen people at a time.
Michael interviews that he has flaws: he sings in the shower, he spends too much time volunteering, and sometimes, he hits people with his car: "So sue me." Michael then has to backpedal from this suggestion, because he's had to realize the hard way that sometimes it's not just an expression.
After commercials, the Dunder Mifflites arrive at the hospital, Michael leading the charge with a clutch of Mylar balloons. As he makes his way to Meredith's room, he VOs that he hates hospitals because he associates them with sickness (for some reason).
Once everyone's entered Meredith's room, Michael tries to lighten the mood by saying she looks like an angel. The general consensus, however, seems to be that she looks terrible, but Michael bitches that she always looks like that. As she stirs, Jim says he thinks she's awake; Michael says she's in a coma, but a nearby nurse corrects him: "No." Heh. Meredith wakes up, comments on how weird it is that everyone's there at once, and Michael, of course, over-corrects by being way too chipper. He tries to tie her balloons to a tube going into her hand, and ends up pulling it out. There's some business with the tube (during which Michael says he's going to barf, which...not quite yet, tiger), but once the nurse has returned to fix it, Phyllis asks if it hurts. Meredith says it's okay -- she's on a lot of painkillers -- and of course Creed leans in to rhyme off a bunch of different product names; Meredith doesn't know what she's on, which I guess is another way to let us know how very out of it she actually is. Meredith makes some noises to dismiss the group, but Michael's not ready to go: he thinks it would be "fun" if she were to forgive him in front of everyone. Meredith firmly says that she isn't going to do that: "You cracked my pelvis." Michael thinks that she should laugh it off and forgive him, and when she insists, "You're not forgiven," Michael not only isn't trying to hear that, but climbs onto the bed to straddle her and try to put his arms around her. And, I mean, it's no picnic to be hug-raped at the best of times, but when it involves some idiot also putting weight on your fractured pelvis...I mean, there probably isn't enough Fentanyl in the hospital to wash that away.