The Office
Fundraiser

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Twelve Old Dogs, No New Tricks

Dwight is working that silent auction table like it's his job, doing research and everything. One of his "guesses" is for a year of home security for $2,500.

Andy walks up to some guy who turns out to be none other than former Dunder Mifflin CFO David Wallace. Believe it or not, I was just wondering not too long ago if that guy would ever be back. Which says something pretty sad about this season's comedic prospects. They compare notes about being canned and how in Wallace's case it led to him sinking all his energy into that stupid "Suck It" toy vacuum idea. Which the U.S. Military then bought from him for $20 million. "The point is, forget those guys," Wallace advises. "Move on." Andy doesn't look as inspired as Wallace might have intended. But doesn't the U.S. military also need rock operas about the power of music?

Nellie tries to talk about Darryl about the gold old American food she'd rather they were eating right now, but runs dry after hamburgers, Oreos, and "pizza pie." Darryl bails her out with "tacos," so she pretends that's just what she wants right now. Darryl offers to go get them a couple, if Nellie will just lend him thirty bucks. Then there's a TH in which Nellie admits that she's not even sure what tacos are. "As long as they're not slimy, and please, God, don't let them have eyes."

Jim returns to Oscar and Pam with the senator's cell phone number, which he thinks proves nothing is amiss. Oscar is in the midst of forming some new theory which involves him and Pam mocking Jim's shoes (which Pam bought him) when the MC gives Robert California the briefest introduction imaginable. Robert steps up to the podium with an even more half-assed speech about why people love dogs. Andy heckles Robert at first, and for a guy having a breakdown he seems to have the most accurate opinion of Robert's speech. Then, when Robert tells the sad story of twelve older, retired, special-needs therapy dogs waiting to be adopted, Andy steps up and says he'll take the whole dozen. "It's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around," he projects, and then says he'll "take that bitch home." There's a smattering of applause from the attendees and an "Oh, God" from Erin.

In some back room, a shelter worker is giving Andy a briefing on the dogs' extensive care requirements. Actually, it's not a briefing at all, is how detailed the instructions are. In fact, why did all twelve dogs get schlepped to the hotel in the first place? Andy maintains his calm demeanor, talking about the therapy dog he's bonding with at this moment. "He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis," the worker explains. "Stupid dog," Andy chuckles unconvincingly.

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The Office

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