Pam tells Michael that everyone's in the conference room, for a meeting he doesn't remember calling. It's really just Jim, Oscar, and Ryan, who Pam brought in to talk about Michael's proposal. Michael thinks they're trying to talk him out of it, but they unanimously agree that Holly's perfect for him, and they want to help him plan how to ask her. "So it's safe, and responsible, and realistic, and doable," Pam explains. Oscar describes a pretty standard proposal, adding, "If you are in costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying the ring to a dog's collar, stop. And look at yourself."
Andy and Darryl are making Kevin crazy by playing Dallas by the rules they're making up as they go along (and making me crazy with their annoying, fake southern accents). Andy even takes Kevin to task for not stapling the instructions to the box, "Like a normal human bein'." Is that normal? I'll admit that it's not stupid, even if it is a bit anal. In any case, their standard response to all of Kevin's objections is "That's Dallas."
"Ryan, where did you get this picture?" demands Oscar, holding up a bottle of "Senior Chico's Hot Cha Cha" salsa, illustrated with a photo of Oscar with a sombrero Photoshopped on. "My mom also makes the best salsa," Ryan THs. Wow, that's an old-school Michael move.
Holly is asking advice about her parents from Phyllis, who has apparently put her own mom in a home recently. "If you wait for the day when your parent comes to you and says, 'I can't take care of myself,' that's never gonna happen," Phyllis says. And since this scene is kind of a downer, Phyllis ends it by interesting Holly in a box of bras she has under her table.
Proposal brainstorming is still going on upstairs. Michael suggests throwing a corpse off the roof and when its head pops off he says, "I lost my head when I fell in love with you." Which is a terrible idea, because the head might not pop off. Michael says he already has a ring. "Don't think you need the corpse, then," Jim says. Michael pulls out said ring and shows them a rock the size of a peanut M&M. "Holy shit, is that real?" Pam blares. "They say three years' salary," Michael says. Pam says he doesn't have to get fancy (especially now), and tells the story of Jim's proposal to her, and how it was perfect. Michael pretends, poorly, to be touched by Jim and Pam's magical moment at a gas station during bad weather, but he's looking for an event. Pam says Holly isn't going to say no, but Michael's still scared. "I knew Pam was going to say yes but I was still scared," Jim says. Pam smiles sweetly. So, why is Ryan here?













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