The Office

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There's a garage sale going on in the warehouse, with everyone set up behind tables of the useless crap from their homes that they're trying to get rid of. Pam tells us that ten percent of the proceeds will go to the party fund. Is this during a workday? Because they're all wearing their office clothes. I guess it's not like they'd be getting anything done anyway. Dwight counts down and opens the big door, and lets in so much cold air everyone wants him to close it again. Dwight refuses. Andy wrestles him for it. Aside from what I can already tell is going to be an incredibly annoying cross-promotion for an animated kids' movie bouncing around in the corner of the screen, that's about it.

Short cred--

Dwight's got a thumbtack, which he plans to trade up to "the finest item here" by the end of the day. He starts by offering it to Meredith to straighten her sign, in return for a half-used candle. "That's how it's done," Dwight smugs to us.

Kevin wants to buy Michael's St. Pauli Girl neon sign, but Michael doesn't want to let go of it for less than $500, even as Holly negotiates low double figures. "Get lost," Michael finally tells Kevin. Michael admits to Holly that the only reason he's selling it at all is that it's more of a bachelor pad item, and she suggests putting it in storage, "In case..." Well, that could get fraught in a hurry, but they quickly assure each other that they don't have an "in case." And then Michael says to an old lady interested in his vintage Slip n Slide, "Get lost."

Cut to Michael in his office, on the phone to Holly's dad. He kids that he's going to fire her, then gets slightly more serious and says he wants to discuss his "intentions." Namely asking her to marry him. This he leaves in a voice mail. Old-fashioned, and yet not.

Dwight is making a case to Kelly for the value of the half-used candle, which she can pull out and make Ryan think, Who else is she seeing? I'd better lock her down fast. Of course Kelly has no defense against this argument, so he ends up with her Helen Fielding and Jennifer Weiner collections. She probably never read them anyway.

Andy marvels at Kevin's old Dallas board game. Even though the rules are missing, Darryl suggests playing Andy for money, and Kevin's in too.

Dwight is curious about a small envelope on Jim's table labeled "professor copperfield's miracle legumes." Jim snatches it out of view and acts like it's a big secret, "reluctantly" telling a story about buying them from a mysterious man while lost in Jamaica. But he does not want to sell them, he claims. "Nice try. No, terrible try," Dwight smirks. Can we just skip to the end of this subplot, since we know how it's going to end?

Holly's on the phone to her parents in her office. They apparently got Michael's message, at least in some sense, and Holly thinks she has a clue what it was about. But that becomes rather secondary as Holly realizes that neither of them, especially her dad, seems to be all there. I'm going to give the show the benefit of the doubt and assume that wasn't supposed to be funny.

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The Office

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