...and in an interview, he says that Michael appears to be gay, too. Matching socks, again? Will he never learn? Dwight: "And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend!" He's a regular Tyra Banks!
Back in the meeting, Oscar is trying to detach himself, but Michael the remora is still clinging to him, saying that he's going to raise the stakes. Oscar, no fool, does not like the sound of that. Michael, getting emotional, says that what everyone's about to see, they should burn into their brains, so that they can see it every time they come into the office. Oscar's like, "We don't have to..." But it's too late: Michael's already staring at Oscar's lips. The rest of the employees start to realize where this is going -- Ryan actually half-shields his eyes -- and then Michael is forcing his lips onto Oscar's, who is extremely not into it, to the degree that he actually grunts in protest. It's really not hot. Michael finally breaks the clinch, congratulating himself, "I did it." Michael and Oscar uncomfortably thank each other as the rest of the employees silently flip shit (especially Kelly, who is so excited and overcome she might actually be crying). "See?" chokes Michael. "I'm still here. We're all still here." Kevin tries to get some applause going, though he abruptly breaks it off when Dwight follows Michael's lead by gripping Oscar by the biceps and laying a huge smooch on his cheek. If anything could be less hot than Michael's kiss, it's Dwight's, because Dwight is in a short-sleeved dress shirt with gigantic pit stains.
Michael smugly interviews, "We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature, but we can't lose the spirit of childlike wonder." That's one way to describe stubborn pig ignorance, I suppose. He muses, "What is love, anyway?," as we watch Oscar gathering up his things and getting ready to leave. Michael guesses that love is supposed to break all the rules: "Like me and Jan." Or Pam and Jim -- as, I guess, we're supposed to think as we watch Pam staring at Ryan, again, some more. Michael: "Or Oscar and some guy." In Stamford, Larry Wilmore leads another diversity lecture, as Michael VOs, "When two people find each other, what should stand in their way?" Jim gazes at the empty chair beside him, wishing it were full of a girl with frizzy hair, in Casual Corner couture.