That leaves Jim to lead the office's anti-Nellie resistance all on his own. He warns everyone not to go into their performance reviews with Nellie, because that's a sign of acceptance of her authority, which, trust him, they so don't want. Angela wonders why they should trust Jim, "Like Pam trusted you to provide for her." The writers must be having a hell of a time keeping Angela to the right of the GOP leadership these days. Jim's only backup is Dwight, who says, "I wouldn't let her manage a celery farm." As he explains in a TH, "Those who can't farm, farm celery." Nellie comes out of the office and says she's going to start with the woman with the beautiful nails and tiny feet. Angela's on her way, but Nellie means Phyllis -- who says she doesn't feel comfortable with this. Nellie turns to Dwight, who formally stands and says he lost respect for her in Florida. "If it was up to me you would be in jail forever," he adds. Nellie informs him he's getting a raise, and flatters him until he agrees to six percent. "Raise isn't real," Jim mutters as Dwight and Nellie shake on it. "Money isn't real since we got off the gold standard," Dwight retorts. After seeing that, Phyllis gets up to walk into Nellie's office. Inside, Nellie acts impressed with the last five seconds of Phyllis's performance.
Jim heads next door and tells Robert that Nellie's giving out raises. Robert's a bit surprised, but when he asks if Jim wants one, it throws even Jim briefly. Robert says that Nellie stepped into the fill the vacuum Andy left by refusing to come in. And in terms of the explanation he's about to give, Robert offers Jim a choice between a nature metaphor and a sex metaphor. Jim jumps at the former, but the nature metaphor (which is about animals having sex) doesn't work so Robert switches to the sex metaphor: "All life is sex. And all sex is competition. And there are no rules to that game. And there are no rules to that game. Now that wasn't so perverted, was it?" Robert says that the only person in charge of every office in America is Charles Darwin. And that's pretty much the end of the discussion. I think Robert's working harder to not do anything about this than he would to do anything about this.
Nellie gives Kelly her fake review and possibly-fake raise. Meanwhile, out in the bullpen, Jim is saying that accepting the raises means it's okay for someone to walk in and take someone's job. Dwight decides that's exactly right, and tries to steal Darryl's office, until Darryl drags him out by his hair. "Well fought, I accept the outcome," Dwight says with dignity. He approaches Creed, who without looking up says, "Touch me and I'll sue."