Michael can't avoid the call any more, and he's on the speakerphone with Wallace, who's pissed off and demanding to know how Michael let this happen. "I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant," Michael tries. Wallace doesn't buy that, and asks if it was the sales department. Michael says it was.
"Was it Jim?"
"Was it Dwight?"
After the ads, Michael calls Dwight in to congratulate him on the golden ticket idea. "That was your idea," Dwight says brightly. He points out that it couldn't have been his, since as a child he was not allowed either movies or candy, let alone movies about candy. Michael pulls out a fake diary with a fake entry about Dwight coming up with the idea, but Dwight runs out to his desk and grabs his own diary, which says otherwise. Michael asks why he has the diary in the first place. "To keep secrets from my computer," Dwight whispers. Michael continues to try to pin it on Dwight, but it's not working. So Michael asks Dwight if he'd like to join him for lunch. "With all my heart," Dwight says sincerely.
Kevin's getting more advice from Jim and Pam, this time about touching. Jim's thinking none, Pam's thinking a little, but when Kevin asks, "Like this?" and clamps a meathook over Jim's forearm, I'm going to have to give this one to Jim. Then Andy comes up and orders, "Don't touch her, don't talk to her, don't look at her!" And then we're in a three-way TH where the three of them are yelling at each other, until Andy wins the day by yelling about Kevin turning into "this blackened carbon brick in the barbecue sauce of shame and rage, and two hot people with a perfect relationship would not understand that!" They don't seem to have an answer for him.
While walking around in the parking lot, Michael is trying to riff about how often he and Dwight think exactly alike. When that doesn't work, Michael comes right out and asks Dwight to fall on his sword. Dwight refuses. "I did fall on my sword once," he THs. "I was running with it in my belt." Michael claims that with his farm, Dwight doesn't have as much to lose as Michael does. "What about Shoe-la-la?" Dwight asks. Michael says it's not ready yet, but in a TH, he does tell us about his idea for a fancy, special shoe store for men. Maybe he could put golden tickets in the shoes.
When they return to the office, Michael announces that he had a nice walk with Dwight and even enjoyed himself, with "my best friend." "These aren't announcements," Oscar protests. Michael insists that they are, "You just don't care about the information." Oscar quietly concedes the point.