The Office

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
The Ping is Dead

Out in the bullpen, Michael collects Phyllis's nearly-complete mittens and says "Nice try. I love 'em." At the door, he pauses, to watch everyone work obliviously for a minute. "See you tomorrow, boss," Creed says, toasting him with the WORLD'S BEST BOSS mug. Michael and Jim share a long look, until Jim cuts his eyes to the door and Michael heads out. As the elevator doors close on him one last time, and we see him going out to his cab, he VOs, "Got almost everybody. Holly's my family now. She's my family. And the babies that I make with her will be my children. The people that you work with are just, when you get down to it, your very best friends." He gets in the cab and it drives away. "They say on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office." Pam's car drives into the parking lot. "But I will. Gotta be a lot better than a deathbed." At the airport, he goes through security, and asks the documentary crew, "Hey, will you guys let me know if this ever airs?" Oh, that's crazy talk. Finally, he takes off his microphone pack for the last time and hands it over, so we can see, but not hear, Michael saying, "That's what she said." And off he goes, disappearing down the concourse. But he is caught at the last minute by Pam, carrying her shoes. They exchange a few words (apparently her mic is off too) and a couple of hugs, and then he's off for real.

"No, he wasn't sad," Pam tells us next to the airport window. "He was full of hope. About Colorado. "And he was hoping to get an upgrade as an Awards member, and he said he was just real excited to get home and see Holly." Pam watches through the window as his plane takes off. Remember when you could still do that? And what's Jim going to say when he finds out she bought a plane ticket when she isn't going anywhere?

In the tag, Michael's goodbye party is a bit of a bust, with the guest of honor missing and all. Deangelo says they might as well eat the cake, and he hacks off a corner and shoves it directly into his mouth. He goes from disgusted with himself to self-indulgent all over again, but this time he just grabs a big hunk with his bare hand. Which he also throws in the trash. Then he starts to dive in face-first, but stops himself just in time. While this is going on and everyone's looking on in horror, Dwight quietly murmurs something to Jim that is uncharacteristically brilliant in its eloquence and succinctness: "Uh-oh."


M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter , or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]

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The Office




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