Michael runs out to the parking lot to ask Stanley if it's true. Stanley denies it, of course, and Michael gets into Stanley's car with him to talk about it, telling Stanley what the interns told him. Stanley looks disgusted, and Michael is a little slow to realize that Stanley's not annoyed about being falsely accused, but being spotted. Stanley admits the truth about his relationship with his rehab nurse while Teri's been traveling. "Cynthia's been keeping me company," Stanley says. Michael finally realizes with shock that it's true, but Stanley insists he's leaving to break it off now. Michael asks if lots of people often claim to go on sales calls and end up elsewhere, "because that's not cool." Stanley simply begs Michael not to tell anyone else about this. "You can count on me," Michael promises. Unfortunately, Stanley can count on him indeed. Just not to do what Stanley wants him to.
Michael returns to the office with some fresh gossip for Kevin: Angela's dating an 81-year-old billionaire. He explains in a TH that you can't un-tell something. "What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue." He compares it to the end of Spartacus. "I have seen that movie half a dozen times and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is."
Michael tells Erin (formerly known as New Kelly in this space, which I'm not doing any more because it's more typing and wasn't funny to begin with) that Kelly has an eating disorder, and then tells Kelly that Erin's hanging by a thread at her job and that Andy's gay, and tells Meredith that Pam is pregnant. "She's gonna hate being a mom," Meredith says smugly. In the kitchen, Kevin makes fun of Andy for drinking tea. Andy laughs along about how much he likes tea, but when Kevin refers to Andy's being gay, Andy gets serious in a hurry. In fact, he starts grilling Kevin about who from his past told Kevin that. And then comes the most uncomfortable TH ever (which is saying something), in which Andy talks about the past occasions when rumors about his sexuality have come up, and what a strange coincidence it is. "Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all. Hunh."
In the break room, Andy asks Oscar if he thinks he's gay. Oscar thinks no, but when Andy starts talking at length about a potential scenario with Brad Pitt, he gives up. "You might be gay," he says, getting up and leaving. And then Oscar THs that it's not his responsibility to reassure insecure straight guys. "That can't possibly fall to me." Yeah, let Toby have a crack at that.