The Office
Grief Counseling

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Wing Chun: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Grief Counseling

Karen goes to the vending machine, cursing. Jim, happening by, asks what the deal is, and Karen says that they're out of her favorite chips: "But don't worry. My snack food does not fall under the umbrella of your authority." Jim declares that, since he's her project supervisor today, they won't be doing anything until she is duly chipped: "Now, please." And then Karen starts loving Jim -- as we all love those who facilitate our consumption of salty treats.

Creed comes into Michael's office, saying it's a shame about Ed. Michael's like, "Sure, but he was old," adding that Ed's death must have made Creed more aware of his own mortality. Creed says that age had nothing to do with it: Ed was decapitated. Behind Michael's desk, Dwight turns around, suddenly enthralled. Creed explains that Ed was driving drunk and drove under an eighteen-wheeler; his head popped right off. But cars were slipping right under trucks the whole way through The Fast And The Furious! Vin Diesel movies aren't based in physical reality? Nonsense! Creed adds that a human can live for hours after decapitation. Dwight: "You're thinking of a chicken." Creed: "What did I say?" Heh. Michael interviews that Ed's cause of death did not befit a Dunder Mifflin manager -- "alone, out of the blue, not even have his own head to comfort him." Since it's Creed, there's at least a 50/50 chance that he's just making shit up for funsies, but Michael doesn't seem to consider this possibility...

...and goes straight to the bullpen to gross everyone out with the alleged details of Ed's passing.

Dwight finds Angela in the break room, instructing her that if he should ever be decapitated, he wants her to put his head on ice. And near french fries, maybe? He then interviews that he wants to be frozen upon his death, even if in pieces, because by the time he gets defrosted, he will have figured out how his killer got the jump on him. Assault with Jell-O?

Michael calls Jan, complaining that they take a day to honour Martin Luther King, and he didn't even work at Dunder Mifflin. Jan offers to give everyone the day off, and Michael angrily tells her that she doesn't understand his staff at all. The idea that they would want an authorized excuse to go home, and away from Michael's oppressive moping! Anyway, Michael tells Jan that he wants to honour Ed with a life-sized statue. Jan grits that it's not realistic, but Michael says it would be very realistic -- it would move and have eyes that light up and everything. Dwight, behind Michael, corrects him that he's talking about a robot. Jan loses her patience, and with Michael still talking over her, she tells him she's hanging up. The call having ended, Dwight shows Michael his schematic for the Ed robot, which has a six-foot power cord to make sure it can't go rogue and attack them. Michael says it's perfect, and it's not clear whether he's being sarcastic or sincere. Which is often the case, after all.

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The Office

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