Oscar finally acts on his longstanding crush on warehouse guy Matt by asking him out for happy hour. Well, actually, he asks the whole office and warehouse staff out for happy hour. Pam's so jazzed at having a night out that she invites along a friend to meet Michael. Because this friend finds everything funny, that goes fine, until Michael realizes he's being set up. Whereupon he morphs instantly and terrifyingly into "Date Mike," a Kangol-wearing megatool inspired by watching reality dating shows. He nearly gets himself kicked out by acting like a jerk, but instead ends up striking up a flirtation with the bar's manager (Amy Pietz from Caroline in the City). Too bad for Pam's friend. Or is it? No, I think we can safely say it's not.
In other relationship news, Andy's so keen to avoid the drama of people finding out he's dating Erin that he generates several gigawatts of drama his own dorky self, before making a big, gushing public announcement about the two dates they've been on. Pam's other friend Isabel shows up and gives Dwight about a hundred reasons to get out of his parenting contract with Angela -- and us about the same number of reasons to back him up on that. And unfortunately for Oscar, Matt's a no-show. Until the very end, that is. Which is not to say that Oscar's done shooting airballs.
Michael has just finished doing 25 push-ups and one girl push-up, a new record for him. He challenges anyone else to beat it, and although nobody takes him up on it when the prize is "my respect," upping the ante to an early departure for the day has everyone hitting the floor like the place being strafed. "I say dance, they say how high?" Michael smugs. Michael DQs Angela for having her butt too high, and Creed for still sitting at his desk. Jim taps out at 19, and sheepishly claims, "I had a really hard workout this morning." But Stanley's still at it, sweating Howitzer bullets as everyone gathers around and chants his name, having completely forgotten that the poor guy has a bad ticker. In the background, Oscar compares it to a mother lifting a car to save her baby." Stanley completes his girl push-up and then, with rivers of perspiration and dignity rolling off of him, leaves with a polite, "Excuse me." He earns not one, but two rounds of applause.
Oscar has shown up early this morning to he can "run into" Matt, the warehouse guy he has a crush on. Oscar asks if he has any plans for later, and Matt tells him to let him know if he hears about something going on. Oscar agrees to do that. Then he talking-heads about how he's now talked to Matt both this morning and at Christmas. "So, a little momentum there." He turns to enter the building, but it's locked." Couple hours to kill before work," he shrugs.
Upstairs, Oscar visits Darryl in his office to say it's been a while since the last happy hour, when the office people and the warehouse people all went out for a drink together. "Has that ever happened?" Darryl wonders. "Ever?" Darryl's not fooled by Oscar's attempts to be cool about Matt, and asks Oscar to be straight with him. "You can be gay with Matt, just be straight with me."
Now it's Oscar's job to pitch the idea to the office staff. Phyllis is up for it, especially if Bob comes. "I tend to wear something low cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats 'em up." Long pause. "What?" That's morally reprehensible, is what. One grows weary of Phyllis thinking she can dance through ethical minefields because she's hot.
Andy pitches the idea to Jim, who tries to beg off, but agrees to call Pam. Even though he says he'll "absolutely" call her, he actually does. Jim talking-heads about how amazing his baby is: "She gets me out of everything! And I love her. I also love her very much." Back in the bullpen, Jim is just telling Pam about the--"YES! YES! I WOULD LOVE TO!" Pam screeches in his ear loud enough for Andy to hear. And then we see Jim holding up his phone for its own TH, with Pam blathering about how excited she is to be with adults and see everyone. "I did not see this coming," Jim says as he holds it up. Sure sign of a first-time dad.